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刚写的AAA10 居然650个字

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楼主
发表于 2005-7-24 18:35:00 | 只看该作者

刚写的AAA10 居然650个字

还有十几天就考试,作文还不会写。上午issue写了四个点,实在写不下去了,都不会说话了。


下午写了第二篇argument, 两个点,严重超时,郁闷中。



A10. The following appeared in a memo from the vice president in charge of fundraising at laceName w:st="on">WaymarshlaceName> laceType w:st="on">UniversitylaceType>:


“Three years ago, as part of a very successful campaign to increase the amount of money donated for scholarships, laceName w:st="on">SophialaceName> laceName w:st="on">CollegelaceName> used student volunteers to telephone selected alumni and request contributions. That year the total amount of money donated to Sophia exceeded its annual goal by 150%. To reduce overhead costs for fundraising and increase contributions, laceName w:st="on">WaymarshlaceName> University should begin using student volunteers to make telephone requests in all our fundraising efforts. Furthermore, since the enrollment at Waymarsh University is more than twice that at Sophia College, we should be able to raise at least as much money each year as Sophia did by using this same method.”



In this argument, the president suggests that Waymarsh Unniversity should use student volunteers to make telephone requests in all fundraising efforts. This conclusion is built on the evidence that Sophia College successfully raised donation for scholarships using the same method three years ago. The author further claims that Waymarsh University should be able to raise at least as much money each year as Sophia did provided that enrollment in Waymarsh University is more than twice that at Sophia College. Plausible at first sight, this argument actually suffers from several critical flaws, which undermine the vadility of the conclusion that the arguer maintains.



First of all, although telephone selected alumni for donation proves to be effective in raising money for scholarships of Sophia College, there is no guarantee that the same method will work just as well for all fundraising efforts of Waymarsh University. A specific case does not ensure general success, since reactions from contributors largely depend on who is going to donate and how the money raised will be used. Perhaps alumni of Sophia College actively donated because student volunteers reminded them of their own old school days and they were ready to help students just like themselves. Corporate managers, on the contrary, might consider telephone calls from students an informal method that shows little sincerity. It is highly possible that they are relunctant to subsidize projects irrelevant to their products. If Waymarsh University mainly depends on industry contributions for research grants, then formal contacts between professors and the company might prove to be more effective.



Moreover, the fact that enrollment at Waymarsh is more than twice that at Sophia can hardly suffice to demonstrate that Waymarsh should be able to raise at least as much money as Sophia did. Here the president unfairly assumes that graduates from Waymarsh University have nearly the same ability and tendency as those from Sophia College to make contributions. It is entirely possible that a larger portion of Waymarsh alumni lead an unsucessful career or mainly engage in wage earning professions, while most Sophia graduates own highly profitable businesses or are influential to raise money from other channels. Or perhaps Waymarsh alumni are just  less liable to respond to donation requests from their schools.  Without information concerning the ability and inclination of alumni from both schools, it is hard to tell whether Waymarsh can raise at least as much money as Sophia did.



Even if the ability and inclination of alumni in donating are nearly the same,  this does not lead to the easy conclusion that Waymarsh can repeat the success of Sophia and even continue to do so each year. The author fails to consider other alternatives that might explain the successful fundraising campaign. For one thing, the donation campaign might be a temporary measure taken by Sophia to contribute to its 100th aniversary. Therefore, alumni selected are not likely to donate the same sum of money for the years thereafter.  Sophia itself might not be able to maintain the success. For another,  the economic conditions might have deteriorated since the campaign three years before. As a result, alumni are not able to afford generous contributions this year. Unless the author can demonstrate that the telephone requests actually led to increased donation and that other factors which might influence contribution remain unchanged, it is too arbitrary to assert that Waymarsh can maintain the trend by using the same method.



In conclusion, it is imprudent for the vice president of Waymarsh University to suggest raising all funds using students to make telephone requests solely on the basis of the evidence presented. Before any final decisions are made about how to raise funds,  Waymarsh should carefully investigate the genuine cause of Sophia's success, and consider the possibility that Waymarsh can copy the method by weighing the different conditions of the two schools. Still analysis of current and future conditions should be made to ensure successful fundraising each year.


沙发
发表于 2005-7-24 19:06:00 | 只看该作者
650个字这么多,恐怕是会超时的吧
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 20:27:00 | 只看该作者

我觉得好像该说这么多话,只是写不完。真是太罗嗦了。


是不是例子举得太细了?

地板
发表于 2005-7-24 20:27:00 | 只看该作者

第一点和第三点驳得都是Waymarsh不一定可以copy Sophia的成功, 我觉得可以合并起来写.既节省时间又更紧凑些.


楼主已经写的很好了,ISSUE我也在头痛,一起加油吧

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 20:54:00 | 只看该作者

Thanks!


现在看思路很混乱,第三点是写着写着才想起来的。其实是想说:


1.Sophia的成功不是由telephone requests引起的


2.即使是,Waymarsh也不能copy


AWA成绩到底有多重要?本来该从昨天开始模考,因为作文根本写不出还一直拖着。


6#
发表于 2005-7-24 22:11:00 | 只看该作者

据我听前人说申请mba,awa不太重要


申请phd之类的就另当别论

7#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 23:13:00 | 只看该作者

惨 托的作文只有5 本想有所长进 现在看不3就不错了


如果前面也很差的话就只能用GRE申了


我的¥2100和暑假啊

8#
发表于 2005-7-24 23:53:00 | 只看该作者

不会,嘻嘻...单论这篇文章,jj可以搜索下,以前很多人写过...吸取下别人的想法



至于jj的awa...不用紧张,光凭650字的篇幅,就肯定上5分了...issue四个点足够了,不用再想什么话说了...argument实在没话说,就正话反说,反话正说,颠来倒去的反复论证,呵呵,参考下本区的废话模版贴~~





既然t的作文都5了...个人觉得t的打分比g严格很多...所以不要操心...不可能3分滴~~有点自信哦!



mba好像是对awa分数要求不高,master也是...但phd就很重视awa了...毕竟博士能写出论文来才能毕业啊,呵呵


9#
发表于 2005-7-25 00:00:00 | 只看该作者

楼主看来很强的嘛,托5分


又有GRE成绩,现在又来考GMAT,这才是真正的强人,而且还十分谦虚


如果我能有你一半就好了呀!

10#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-25 17:22:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢大家的支持鼓励和帮助!


感动ing...


我8月12号在鼎均考,大家一起加油啊!

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