以下是引用yukon在2005-7-21 21:34:00的发言:The author states in the title statement that with the increasing emphasis on global economy cooperation, people need to understand that their role as citizens of the world is more important than their role as citizen of a particular country. It is always a controversial topic that whether one’s role as citizens of the world is more important than the one’s role as citizen of a particular country. While a lot of people like the author agree with that the role of world citizen is more important, in my point of view, it is a complex question and the final answer should dependents on a case-by-case analysis.
1、dependent是adj.或n.不能直接用在should后面哦~加s也不对~应该是depend on.
On one hand, in some regions of the world where the trend of globalization is prevailed, each individual’s role as citizens of the world is more important than his or her role as citizen of a particular country. For example, Hong Kong, an important financial center in Asia, owns little environment resource but a heavy load of population. To substantiate the city’s economy, the citizens of Hong 07Kong have to take more attention on the outside world and do their best to cooperate with the people of other countries. To some extent, most citizens of Hong Kong play a role of the citizens of the world. Such examples bound: the citizens of New York, UAE, and Singapore and so on, just list a few. These people have the same characteristics that they have relative more connections with the people of other regions and their lives often affected by the events occurred in outside world.
1、citizen和each individual对应,s应该去掉。本段中部的citizen应该和most citizens对应,加上s...另外,我觉得citizen这个词用得太多了,可以用其它词替换一下。
2、important元音开头用an。
3、黄色highlight处应该都是笔误,小心噢~
4、个人感觉a, b, and c and so on...c前面的这个and还是需要的,嘻嘻~再斟酌。
5、just list a few很不formal...和and so on 又重复...最好不要
6、they have relative more connections:relative是adj啊...GG好像有这个习惯,把形容词用作动词...这里该是RELATED WITH吧
On the other hand, not all of people in the world have some many connections with others. For instance, some of Mori people who live in New Zealand hardly contact with other people. They still live in a relatively isolated area and keep the traditional style of life. Because few outside events can interfere with their lives, Mori people are indifferent to the world occupied by modern cultures. It is clearly that the trend of globalization has reached every corner of the world and thus focusing on the outside world is not very important to some people such as those living in isolated areas. Considering from this aspect, it is too extremely to say that all people need to understand that their role as citizens of the world is more important than their role as citizens of a particular country.
这段可以看出yukon你对词性很不熟悉:
relative是adj要是adv才能修饰isolated这样的形容词;
interfere是vi要加with才能接n.;
such as those live不构成句子,不对,living动名词才能修饰those;
consider是vt.不需要from了;
extremly是adv.不可以说it is extremly ...
另外,as ... as ...后面的词要平行对称,都用citizens。
再另外,嘻嘻,我也不清楚是否可以说their role...还是应该their roles...这段和第一段都大量出现their role...感觉是可以的,但不确定,yukon再自己查查吧。
这段例子举得很好噢。
In conclusion, which role is more important is determined by the specified economic situation at which people stay and the human environment in which people learn. It is too superficial to say that the role as citizen of the world is more important than role as citizen of a particular country, or vice versa.