AA016, 复习作文不久，请大家指教

16. The following appeared as part of an article in the education section of a Waymarsh City newspaper.
“Throughout the last two decades, those who earned graduate degrees found it very difficult to get jobs teaching their academic specialties at the college level. Those with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding such jobs. But better times are coming in the next decade for all academic job seekers, including those from Waymarsh. Demographic trends indicate that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next ten years; consequently, we can expect that the job market will improve dramatically for people seeking college-level teaching positions in their fields.

Based upon the demographic endorsed in the argument, the author asserts that job

demographic trends

market will improve dramatically for people seeking college-level teaching positions in their fields. The author also reasons that since graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding such jobs, such demographic trends will undoubtedly benefit Waymarsh graduates. However, this argument is seriously flawed in three aspects.

To begin with, the author falsely depends on an implied assumption that the number of college-aged people will increase over the next decade will inevitably result in an increased the number of people who attend university. However, it is not necessarily

increase in the number

the case. Other factors such as, national economic environment, residents’ income level, and federal education policies all play a significant role in determining the college’s enrollments.

Moreover, even if we grant the preceding assumption, the additional assumption that such increased enrollments will lead to a bigger job market for people who seek college-level positions is problematic. It is possible that during the period of economic recession, due to financial considerations, universities have to maintain the ratio of students to teachers even if there are more students than before.

absolute number of teachers 个人认为这样写比较好。因为如果比例不变而学生增加了的话，market确实扩大了。

Finally, little can be foreseen regarding the employability of Waymarsh graduates

the bright future of Waymarsh graduates can not be guaranteed个人觉得这样写比较明确，而且字数比较多；P

based on the information offered in the argument. Lacking a thorough analysis of factors that account for Waymarsh graduates’ difficulty in finding jobs, it is hard to assess their prospects. It is likely that Waymarsh graduates do not have strong academic backgrounds or their teaching skills are not recognized by the society. Thus, in either case, Waymarsh graduates will not actually benefit from increased demand for teaching positions.

As it stands, the argument is ineffective since the author commits the above mentioned mistakes. To substantiate this conclusion, the author should provide evidence showing the correlation among increased college-aged people, increased university enrollments and increased demand for teaching positions. Additionally, supporting evidence that Waymarsh graduates have no idiosyncratic reasons in finding jobs would further strengthen the author’s claim.

参照了摸版，请大家指教！

写得粉不错哦！尤其是才上手。

结构和内容都很好。再注意一下细节，就更好了。

呵呵记得把题目也粘一下