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AI022, 请大家帮助指正,谢谢: ) responsibility to support the arts-Zeros修改标题

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楼主
发表于 2005-4-27 00:14:00 | 只看该作者

AI022, 请大家帮助指正,谢谢: ) responsibility to support the arts-Zeros修改标题

限时完成。感觉时间很紧迫,题目一开始没看懂,后来硬着头皮写。练了几篇都不能突破400字大关,很是郁闷。不知各位有什么好办法可以推荐。至于模板虽然对字数很有帮助,但是好像目前大家用的都差不多,心里害怕被ETS识破而不敢用...





Thanks for your attention先 :)



22. “Clearly, government has a responsibility to support the arts. However, if that support is going to produce anything of value, government must place no restrictions on the art that is produced.”


To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above? Develop your position by giving specific reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.



It goes without doubt that the arts, as the precious treasure of a country, and all the human beings, should be protected and supported by the government. However, while consenting to the author's view on this point, I hold opposite opinion on whether the government should cast restrictions on those produced by the protecting or supporting activities of the government. My point of view is substantiated by the following analysis.





To begin with, I want to define what is the so-called art. Consisting of innumerous categories of activities, including music, painting, drama, movie, architecture, etc, the art is such a board concept that may bring confusion or misunderstanding without specific restriction or clarification when the government designs relevant protecting policies. Some kinds of arts, for example, as pioneer nude show on the street or loud rock & roll concert, without restriction on the venues, would bring negative effect to the community and society. Therefore, the board content of the arts calls for restriction on it.





Furthermore, more often than not, government's support on the arts may bring undesirable outcome without proper restrictions. The project of China's National Theater aptly illustrates this point. The project, which is widely perceived as the government's concern on the development of the arts, has wasted over 10 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars without a publicized final design. Although the project reflects the government's attention on the arts, without proper restriction and controlling policy, it has led to excessive waste of money and time. Although nobody can doubt the magnificence of the recently revealed "final plan", the efficiency, irrefutably, is extremely low without clear restrictions in place.





Admittedly, the development of the arts requires an environment of freedom and democracy. But we cannot deny that basic restriction is of crucial importance to make best use of the government's support.





In sum, the government should support the arts to enrich the personality and character of its citizen. Nevertheless, the method of offering support should be scrutinizedly reviewed and some activities should be restricted under certain circumstances. It is also the government's responsibility to maintain the order and environment of the arts community by doing which necessary restriction should be adopted.



沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2005-4-28 09:46:00 | 只看该作者

自顶一下,

板凳
发表于 2005-5-2 20:55:00 | 只看该作者

我没有仔细查,但是这篇好象500都有了呀?这个是限时写的吗?框架不错哦!让我这个总是copy 人家模版的人很是汗颜。楼主好象应该注意一下有些时候可以用相应的形容词就不要用of+n。(sc不是有这么一条?呵呵)还有楼主的句子好象都很长哦,偶尔用几个短句子不会让人觉得你的实力不强,还可以让评分的人喘喘气.还有有几个句子我没大看懂:

1.I hold opposite opinion on whether the government should cast restrictions on those produced by the protecting or supporting activities of the government.

是不是应该是the arts produced啊?

2.Therefore, the board content of the arts calls for restriction on it.

我觉得应该是Such a broad conception calls for restriction on it.

3.In sum, the government should support the arts to enrich the personality and character of its citizen我总觉得personality , character好象是不能enrich的,改成leisure activities 会不会好一点?

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2005-5-8 12:22:00 | 只看该作者

多谢楼上指点!很多写作方面的问题的确自己往往很难发现,所谓旁观者清。Thanks again!

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