Iszy作文贴，^^,大家互帮互助，一起进步~~^^

Iszy

首先，容我解释一下你的不明白的几个点：
1、关于“allude to" (原话是"as I alluded to above", 中文意思：正如我前文提到的一样。ps: 我在开头一段结尾处确实提出了"ability"的重要性）
allude,v. 用法：allude to sb/sth(formal)  意思：to mention sth in an indirect way--间接提到，暗指，影射
^^,由于楼主在做TOEFL24套的听力部分总是听到这个短语，所以与它混熟了~~~好像最近在做阅读时也经常看到它~~~~

2、原句：it's unreliable to draw the conclusion that it's easier for one to shaveing family's help(？？这个词要表达什么)
实际上句子应该是：it is unreliable to draw the conclusion that it is easier for ones having family's help...
PS:由于粘上去的时候，没注意到他两中间少了个空格，所以就变成这样了。。。


谢谢你的批改还有夸奖~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦~~~有你么这批笔友在，我才会开始勤奋滴练作文~~谢了！

Iszy

Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?
时间：2个半小时； 字数：560左右
^^, 这是楼主的第三篇习作，所以还没有限时，等咱在多写几篇，脸熟了，再严格控时~~~~



From past until now,education of people has been an indispensable constitution of the society.Constrained by variety of factors, such as the underdeveloped teaching technologies and limited resources, the gone eras had never received an educational attendance as hot as today.So when it comes to the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past,I strongly support this opinion. And general arguments and specific examples will be demonstrated in following paragraphs.


To begin with,now we have had a much more advanced education system in comparison to the past, which enables more people to have the opportunity of being educated. Those superiorities of modern education can be peeped from at least three dimensions. First, educating facilities have been more and more diverse and multifunctional.For we know teachers in the past could educate students exclusively through traditional teaching tools limited by time and space, like paper books and blackboards. However,nowadays,thanks to the advancement of science and technology, we are able to be educated whenever and wherever we are willing to via new teaching facilities as online teaching mode and the remote teaching. What is more, educators today pay more attention to teach students in accordance of their aptitude other than simply adapting a unified teaching method.For instance, professors may allow students whose self-learning ability are quite beyond their peers not to attend normal classes as the opposed to ones who are very slothful and lack of self-control.Last,we can't deny the fact that faculty in modern education system has been stronger and more influential.Actually there are an increasing number of talents inclined to be an educator owing to complete research equipments and resources on campus based on a recent survey.


Furthermore, attitudes of people towards education has altered from negatively being educated to positively pursuing education as to improve themselves by gaining knowledge and skills, which make people today more easily educated.The emergency of some social phenomena can attest to this point.For instance, a middle manager who has already worked for a company for several years may give up the job when his labor contract expires in order to get an MBA diploma which will assist him to get a promotion in the future.Another highlighted phenomenon is that people from developing countries especially studentsare keen on gonging abroad for further study.They apply for foreign universities in developed countries as United States and Britain in purpose of receiving better education.All of those above are exemplifies of actively being educated which prove that people are more easily educated nowadays.


Granted,the content of what people are instructed with by education has been usually questioned and challenged,some are even overthrown. And it seems that because of this spirit of suspicion it is hard to attract new people to be educated. However, the truth is exactly opposite. Inciting a Chinese proverb, "consider the past and you will know the future", what I want to emphasize on is that all of innovations arise out of existed knowledge.If we don't consider the past and learn from the past, how can we move forward unceasingly? And obviously being educated is most efficient way to be familiar with the past.


Therefore, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is indeed easier to become educated today than in the past taking account into factors like the advanced modern education system and great enthusiasm of people to pursue a better education.

dreamcece

解释一下，（）里面的是要删除的原文加上我的修改意见
(From past until now-From the past to/until） now,education (of people) has been an indispensable constitution of the society.Constrained by variety of factors, such as the underdeveloped teaching technologies and limited resources, the gone eras (had在这里我不认为用过去完成时是正确的，因为你没有比较两个动作，且两个动作同在过去发生， 只有在这个情况下在过去之前的过去用过去完成时才okay。我有咨询过这边的同学，他们认为用过去时就可以了，当然只是个人意见 ^.^) never received an (educational attendance education rates?) as（hot-high) as today.So when it comes to the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past,I strongly support this opinion. And general arguments and specific examples will be demonstrated in following paragraphs.（很好的开头，good demonstration，表明了自己的观点，如果thesis statement可以把之后的分论点大致的写出来就更好了。）


To begin with,now we have （had） a much more advanced education system in comparison to the past, which enables more people to have the opportunity of being educated. Those superiorities of modern education can be peeped（你确定Peep这种略带贬义的词适合用在这里？） from at least three dimensions. First, educating facilities have been more and more diverse and multifunctional.For we know teachers in the past could educate students exclusively （through because?) traditional teaching tools were limited by time and space, like paper books and blackboards. However,nowadays,thanks to the advancement of science and technology, we are able to be educated whenever and wherever we are willing to via the new teaching facilities as (online teaching mode and the remote teaching这两个技术有区别？). What is more, educators of today pay more attention to teach students in accordance of their aptitude other than simply adapting a unified teaching method.For instance, professors may（句子中could.may之类的词会让人质疑你的credibility，能不用最好） allow students whose self-learning ability are quite beyond their peers not to attend normal classes as the opposed to ones who are very slothful and lack of self-control.Last,we can't deny the fact that the faculty in modern education system has been stronger and more influential.Actually there are an increasing number of talents inclined to be an educator owing to complete research equipments and resources on campus based on a recent survey.


Furthermore, the attitudes of people towards education has altered from (negatively being educated to positively negative to positive) pursuing education so as to improve themselves by gaining knowledge and skills, which makes（which 代表的是attitudes change整个一件事） people today more easily educated.The emergency of some social phenomena can attest to this point.For instance, a middle manager who has already worked for a company for several years may give up the job when his labor contract expires in order to get an MBA diploma which will assist him to get a promotion in the future.Another highlighted phenomenon is that people from developing countries especially students are keen on gonging abroad for further study.They apply for the foreign universities in developed countries as United States and Britain in purpose of receiving better educations.All of those above are exemplifies of actively being educated which prove that people are more easily educated nowadays.


Granted,the content of what people are instructed with by education has been usually questioned and challenged,some are even overthrown. And it seems that because of this spirit of suspicion, it is hard to attract new people to be educated. However, the truth is exactly opposite. Inciting a Chinese proverb, "consider the past and you will know the future", what I want to emphasize( on) is that all of innovations arise out of existed knowledge.If we don't consider the past and learn from the past, how can we move forward unceasingly? And obviously being educated is most efficient way to be familiar with the past.


Therefore, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is indeed easier to become educated today than in the past taking account into factors like the advanced modern education system and great enthusiasm of people to pursue a better education.

Iszy

9.28 独立写作总结

1、过去完成时的使用条件一定要注意！！我以后会慎用滴
2、受教育率----“education rate" , high 形容。O(∩_∩)O~~这句真的改得很好，我很喜欢你帮我改后的句子~~~
3、范举的例子不要有重叠，关于在线教育与远程教育有些相同，但查了一下还是有区别的。。不过，还是不同时举了
4、关于有段的"which"定语从句修饰的词，我的确没想清楚，粗心了~~~以后一定注意
5、unceasingly   ad.(formal)  持续不断地  例子：Snow fell unceasingly.
     在作文中，楼主想表达“不断地进步”的意思，不知道是否地道呀~~~？


总之，谢谢你的批改了~~~收获很多！

Iszy

Do you agree with: the friends that you can have fun with are more important than the friends that you can get help from?


Once we were born in the world, we have encompassed various complicated relationships.Among them typically is the friendship that is cherished by everyone.And there are all kinds of friends around us like some who share the same interests with us and always have fun and others who are willing to give us a hand whenever we need. When faced with the idea that friends having fun with us is more important than friends offering help to us,different people may hold different viewpoints.In my part, I am strongly against this opinion in account of people’s needs of emotional supports and beneficial advices and suggestions in their lives.


First of all, emotional supports can be fully and easily received by friends that we can get help from when we are in the depression.For me the harshest period is when I was in Junior High school because of my poor grades and some teachers'prejudices. Never would I forget the moment that my English teacher teased me in the class due to my unsatisfied performance.After hearing her words, I felt deeply ashamed and I totally lost my confidence.However, what made me comfort and evoked my confidence was that my friend, Fish, who was always pleasant to help me other than who played together with me, found me after the class and sincerely said," Never take the teacher's words in mind, so smart are you that you have the potential to be best!If you need any help,just call me and I will be there for you!" Nobody else could imagine the power of this emotional support to me! Exactly as she said, in the last semester in junior school, I became the top one in my class.


Furthermore, friends who can offer help to us are simultaneously ones who would like to give advice and make suggestions for us instead of friends that we have fun with.Sometimes we are easily prone to social ills and err from the right path, especially when we are too young to be mature. Nonetheless, owing to advice and suggestions given by the friends that provide us with help, we can back to the way in time and do things better in the future.On the contrary, our playmates are less possible to do those for us.


Admittedly, accompanying with friends that we have fun with, we probably feel more excited and interested.But a true friendship not only includes sharing happiness together,but also means facing and solving problems together. What is more,enjoyments can also be got by spending time with friends that we can get help from.




To put all into a nutshell, based on the consideration of human's needs of emotional supports and beneficial advice and suggestions, I reinforce my standpoint that friends that we have fun with is not more important than the friends that we can get help from.

最后一次杀T

黄色高亮为精彩 绿色为需要修改部分 粉色为修改建议 红字为个别加词
Once we were born in the world, we have been encompassed various complicated relationships.Among them typically is the friendship that is cherished by everyone.And there are all kinds of friends around us like【like不能用来举例，改为such as】 some who share the same interests with us and always have fun and others who are willing to give us a hand whenever we need. When faced with the idea that friends having fun with us is more important than friends offering help to us,different people may hold different viewpoints【其中一个different可以换成diverse】.In my part, I am strongly against this opinion in account of people’s needs of emotional supports and beneficial advices and suggestions in their lives.

First of all, emotional supports can be fully and easily received by friends that we can get help from when we are in the depression.For me the harshest period is when I was in Junior High school because of my poor grades and some teachers'prejudices. Never would I forget the moment that my English teacher teased me in the class due to my unsatisfied performance.After hearing her words, I felt deeply ashamed and I totally lost my confidence.However, what made me comfort and evoked my confidence was that my friend, Fish, who was always pleasant to help me other than who played together with me, found me after the class and sincerely said," Never take the teacher's words in mind, so smart are you that you have the potential to be the best!If you need any help,just call me and I will be there for you!" Nobody else could imagine the power of this emotional support to me! Exactly as she said, in the last semester in junior school, I became the top one in my class.


Furthermore, friends who can offer help to us are simultaneously ones who would like to give advice and make suggestions for us instead of friends that we have fun with.Sometimes we are easily prone to social ills and err from the right path, especially when we are too young to be mature. Nonetheless, owing to advice and suggestions given by the friends that provide us with help, we can back to the way in time and do things better in the future.On the contrary, our playmates are less possible to do those for us.


Admittedly, accompanying with friends that we have fun with, we probably feel more excited and interested.But a true friendship not only includes sharing happiness together,but also means facing and solving problems together. What is more,enjoyments can also be got by spending time with friends that we can get help from.

To put all into a nutshell, based on the consideration of human's needs of emotional supports and beneficial advice and suggestions, I reinforce my standpoint that friends that we have fun with is not more important than the friends that we can get help from.

这篇写的特别好，我很想把第一个例子全黄色高亮了。。
后边的语言都很流畅，学习了。。

Iszy

The best way to increase students' interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of subjects outside of school.


As an saying goes, interest is the best teacher who attracts us to explore the ocean of knowledge. And no one deny the fact that the most efficient way to ignite students' studying passion is to increase their interest. Nevertheless, the key question for us is how to increase students' interests，and which is the best way among various methods. When comes to this topic, different people hold different views. Some agree on the assertion that the best way to increase students' interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of subjects outside of school, but others do mot. As for me, I do think that teaching them the significance of subjects outside of school is a good idea, but not the best. It's much more proper for us to enhance the interest by letting students experience the significance of the subjects which they have a aptitude for.


First and foremost, students' own talents should be seriously considered before we take measures to hoist up their interests. Never can we be blind to this basis. One of the most typical examples is Zhongshu Qian, who was the most influential interpreter and literature writer in China. In fact, he was a genius of language as the opposed to science and mathematics. Compared with his excellent grades on language subjects, he never earned any scores in his math and science class. Given that his teachers merely taught him the significance of math and science outside of school, would he have had a greater interest in those subjects and made great contributions later on those areas? The answer is definitely no. In the contrast, we would have lost a great writer in our history.


Equally important is the opinion that it is better for us to intrigue students through experiencing the importance of subjects instead of just being taught. I have a friend who is now a doctor, and his story really impressed me. When he was a teenager, once he had an unpleasant relationship with subjects he learned in school, and gradually he lost all his interests in them. However, he changed later because of his mother's cancer. His mother died due to the failure operation and no efficient medicine. When he asked the doctor how in the hell can he save his mother's life, he received an answer that inventing or discovering more advanced and efficient therapy, which later evoked his passion and interest on biology and chemistry that are basic courses of the medical area.


Granted, sometimes it is hard for us to personally experience the significance of the subjects that we have a gift for, and then increase our interests. However, we have to admit that chances will not actively be prepared for us unless we positively make preparations for chances we are going to meet. And those preparations could be an optimistic attitude towards the things happening to us and a decision to be an self-respect people who are willing to discover their talents.


Taking account of all the factors presented above, I strongly believe that teaching students the significance of subjects outside of school is a good idea but not the best. More efficient is the way that letting our students experiences the importance of the subjects that they may be talented in rather than merely be taught.

margrate

你淡定看完啊，我最近有码字的习惯  有问题  随时和我联系

Iszy

The main topic discussed by the lecture and the reading material is salvage logging. The lecture apparently contradicts with the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the reading passage, salvage logging is really beneficial to both forests and local economic. However, the lecture holds the opposite view.
To begin with, the professor claims that salvage logging ia harmful to growth of new trees because removal of dead tress stimultaneously takes away the nurtritions produced by the decomposition of dead trees, which will nurture the soil. In contrast, the reading passage points out that salvage logging can provide enough space for new trees to grow  which is benefit to the forest's development. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.
Second, the passage demonstrates that salvage logging can protect other trees in the forest from suffering from the destroies caused by harmful insects whereas the professor in the lecture contend that no salvage logging can much more benefit the forests in the lonbgterm  because it can supply habitants to bebeficial insects and birds nurtured by the environment dead trees creates. In addition, the evidence about spruce bark beetles proves that harmful insects in the foerest has never brought big problems although it has been affected by lots of factors.
Finally, the passage states that salvage logging is good for the economical development. The professor casts doubt on this point. He asserts that those economical benefits are small and can't last long. For one part, it is expensive for people to transport those lumbers outside of forestst as the process needs helicopters or other big transportations. For other part, salvage logging can probably not offer local residents jobs as it needs workers who have enough experience and training.
To sum up, the points made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

shisuwang

Iszy, 9.29独立请看附件。
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