duniaguodupa的作文贴，基础差，求指导~^^

duniaguodupa

9月5日
In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.


Currently, people are facing more and more problems, some come from their job and others come from their daily lives. Accordingly, the great methods of problems solving become more and more significant. From my point of view, reviewing the past enable me to figure out the problems of the present and the future more efficiently.

Admittedly, reviewing the past appears to have no sense to the problems of the present and the future at our first glance, because the present and the future seem to have no relation with the past totally. Some people consider that they are facing a virtually new world, which is very different with the past.

However, the past experience can bring many helpful advices to us. Everything in the world must have something in common. The things in common are called the universal truth, which is the most essential knowledge I have ever known. And the universal truth come from the past is very significant for us to solve the problems of the present and the future. For instance, when we were children, most of us might have faced the situation that we were hurt by the hot water. Since that, we must remember the universal truth that we should be cautious of hot water. Apparently, the experience from the past can enlarge our knowledge to solve problems easier.

Moreover, the essential way to enhance our ability of problems solving is to review the problems of the past and conclude some useful skills of problems solving. As a matter of fact, people can improve ourselves by learning, and learning the history is the most important one. In order to perform well in the future, each student must have learned history at the school.

To conclude, we should review the problems of the past, because it can help us to figure out problems of the present and the future efficiently. Not only the past experience can help us to solve problems by providing tips, but also it helps us to be a much stronger to solve problems.

duniaguodupa

第二篇，依旧手生····咋办呢···

搞G战士DB

Currently, people are facing more and more problems, some come from their job and others come from their daily lives. Accordingly, the great methods(要么the great method，要么the methods) of problems（S去掉） solving become more and more significant. From my point of view, reviewing the past enables me to figure out the problems of the present and the future more efficiently.
这一段用了两个more and more，不太好啊，事实上more and more就要少用，当然个人观点哈，欢迎指正。开头段要明确表明自己观点，前两句过于累赘的感觉，过多的再说解决问题的方法的重要性。直接点题比较好哈。同样个人观点- -我也很菜的- - 注意下单复数和主谓一致

Admittedly（既然后面要否认这个观点，就不要用“公认”这个词啊- - 要不然岂不是自扇耳光么）, reviewing the past appears to have no sense to the problems of the present and the future at our first glance, because the present and the future seem to have no relation with the past totally. Some people consider that they are facing a virtually new world, which is very different with the past（这里的对比是new world和the past，我不知道T里可不可以这么用，G里这么用肯定是错的，保险起见还是改the old one吧）.合成一段吧，说的是同一个观点，下面这段是为了否认第二段的，合并比较好。However, the past experience （亲是想说过去的经验吧，experience gained from the past）can bring（有bring advices么？give 和 make 都可） many helpful advices to us. Everything in the world must have something in common. The things in common are called the universal truth, which is the most essential knowledge I have ever known. And the universal truth come from the past is very significant for us to solve the problems of the present and the future. For instance, when we were children, most of us might have faced the situation that we were hurt by the hot water. Since that, we must remember the universal truth that we should be cautious of hot water. Apparently, the experience from the past can enlarge our knowledge to solve problems easier.
这一段我彻底凌乱了。开头说experience,然后就扯universal truth去了，最后又回到了experience才提到了the past。整段的出发点是论述过去的经验可以帮助我们学习现在的知识，从而更好地解决问题。但是没有表达出来啊！考官是很快速的看你的文章，看到这儿肯定迷糊了。写的更清楚一些哈。
Moreover, the essential way to enhance our ability of problems solving is to（to?） reviewing the problems of the past and（is..and..注意并列形式哈，本来是is to..and，那么这里应该用and to ，当然这里本来就不需要to） concluding some useful skills of problems solving. As a matter of fact, people can improve ourselves（themselves） by learning, and learning the history is the most important one. In order to perform well in the future, each student must have learned history at the去掉 school.

To conclude, we should review the problems of the past, because it can help us to figure out problems of the present and the future efficiently. Not only the past experience（同上） can help us to solve problems by providing tips, but also it helps us to be a much stronger to solve problems.

分段的问题在上面了。总体来说用词过于简单，需要大量的高级词汇积累。句型还很单调，多练习多样的句式哈，倒装、并列、比较神马的（其实我这点也很烂- -）。字数也少了，缺少事例，内容太空洞，从而说服力就小了。没事的哈，咱俩半斤八两，多练习多学习别人的，肯定会有提高的，加油！

shendang

童鞋记得改我作文哦~~

duniaguodupa

非常感谢你的批改啊，有些问题真的很严重，我会好好改的~！

duniaguodupa

9月8日
The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.D\A


Currently, the companies in the world are facing numerous competitions, which lead them to have a tough time. How a company can be competitive is a very complex but interesting question. While some people point out that the skills of employees have nothing to do with the company, I consider that improving the skills of employees is the most signigicant investment to a company.

To begin with, it is undeniable that employees are the essential part of a company. A company cannot be operated without enough employees in it. Like a system of human, the system of company is consisting of many organic elements. And the most important organic elements of the system of company are employees. Accordingly, consisting of skillful employees make sure the company can be run without getting in trouble. For example, a big company named Yison in my hometown used to be a successful company, however, it broke down last year. The reason why it broke down is that most of its skillful employees went to a new company next to it.

Moreover, investing the employees to improve the skills of them enables them to be much more creative, which is the most crucial to a company in the new digital age. By investing the employees to handle the new technology, the company can upgrade its structure. Since the new technologic structure of the company is capable of enhancing its profits, the investment to educate the employees is very worth. Take the Google as example, Google is one of the most successful companies in the world. The reason why it became so successful is that it has the most creative employees in the world. So precious are creative employees that company must spend a considerable amount of money to improve them.

Admittedly, some other investments of a company, such as the implements of producing, are also very important. Without the implements, the company perhaps cannot produce anything, but the skillful, creative employees will figure out this problem.

In conclusion, the importance of the investment of a company to improve the skills of its employees has never be overemphasize. The skillful and creative employees are the guarantee that the company will be excellent.

duniaguodupa

9月8日 综合

In the lecture, the professor claims that the commercial fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public. Apparently, the claim is not agree with that of the passage, which indicates that the private collectors bring unfortunate development for human.

To begin with, the professor argues that the commercial trade of fossils makes the public have more access to fossils exhibits. By permitting commercial trade of fossils, there more people to buy and own the fossils, and they will donate the fossils to the museum or school. Hence, the private collectors help the public to have more chance to appreciate the fossils, which refutes the passage, which states that the private collectors will make it harder for the public to see fossils.

Secondly, the professor points out that the scientists will have many chances to investigate the fossils. In order to identify the fossils, the private collectors will hire the scientists to test the unearth fossils. So, the fossils have been passed through the scientists' hands, guaranteeing that the scientists have many opportunities to investigate the fossils. On the contrary, the passage held the counterpart that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils.

Lastly, the professor casts doubt on the passage by stating that many fossils will never be discovered if there is no private collector. It is very pity that the valuable and cherish fossils are under the earth forever.

All in all, the professor make a clear clarify that private fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public, refuting what the passage claims.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Currently, the（我觉得复数开头不用特指的额，嘿嘿） companies in the world are facing numerous competitions, which lead them to have a tough time. How a company can be competitive is a very complex but interesting question. While some people point out that the skills of employees have nothing to do with the company, I consider that improving the skills of employees is the most signigicant investment to a company.（开头的最后有一些突兀，能不能加入一些过渡的说理句子）

To begin with, it is undeniable that employees are the essential part of a company.（觉得后面这句和上面是重复说理，两句连成一句）A company cannot be operated without enough employees in it. Like a system of human, the system of company is consisting of many organic elements. And the most important organic elements of the system of company are employees. Accordingly, consisting of skillful employees make sure the company can be run without getting in trouble. For example, a big company named Yison in my hometown used to be a successful company, however, it broke down last year. The reason why it broke down is that most of its skillful employees went to a new company next to it.（楼主的反证例子，最后在加点点明论点的句子就好了。不是例子好就行，要能证明并且联系论点才好）

Moreover, investing the employees to improve the skills of them enables them to be much more creative, which is the most crucial（part，不清楚形容词直接可以这样用不） to a company in the new digital age. By investing the employees to handle the new technology, the company can upgrade its structure. Since the new technologic structure of the company is capable of enhancing its profits, the investment to educate the employees is very worth(y). Take the Google as example(google is a good example to illustrate this point, 楼主感觉如何？), Google is one of the most successful companies in the world. The reason why it became so successful is that it has the most creative employees in the world. So precious are creative employees that company must spend a considerable amount of money to improve them.

Admittedly, some other investments of a company, such as the implements of producing, are also very important too. Without the implements, the company perhaps cannot produce anything, but the skillful, creative employees will figure out this problem（这里的句子间联系就不是很紧密啊，how can workers solve the problems？）.

In conclusion, the importance of the investment of a company to improve the skills of its employees has never be overemphasize（这里用被动式比较好吧？）. The skillful and creative employees are the guarantee that the company will be excellent.

楼主的结构和句子都是很好，提高的点就是加强句间，段落间联系。接着就是多用句式变换来说理，包括举例子的部分，文章的没部分都必须考虑到



蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

In the lecture, the professor claims that the commercial fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public. Apparently, the claim is（does） not agree with that of the passage, which indicates that the private collectors bring unfortunate development for human.

To begin with, the professor argues that the commercial trade of fossils makes the public have more access to fossils exhibits. By permitting commercial trade of fossils, there more people to buy and own the fossils, and they will donate the fossils to the museum or school. Hence, the private collectors help the public to have more chance to appreciate the fossils, which refutes the passage, which states that the private collectors will make it harder for the public to see fossils.（这里很好了）

Secondly, the professor points out that the scientists will have many chances to investigate the fossils. In order to identify the fossils, the private collectors will hire the scientists to test the unearth fossils. So, the fossils have been passed through the scientists' hands,（这里后面用动名词，前面是什么，感觉不是很一致的） guaranteeing that the scientists have many opportunities to investigate the fossils. On the contrary, the passage held the counterpart that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils.

Lastly, the professor casts doubt on the passage by stating that many fossils will never be discovered if there is no private collector. It is very pity that the valuable and cherish fossils are under the earth forever.

All in all, the professor make a clear clarify that private fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public, refuting what the passage claims.

前两段听的很好，第三段细节有漏点。

duniaguodupa

9-13 TPO18

In the lecture, the professor claims that the three ways to address the decline of Torreya are not satisfied solutions. Apparently, the claim does not agree with that of the passage, which states that the three ways can prevent the decline of Torreya effectively.

First of all, the professor indicates that reestablishing the Torrya in the same location is unlikely to succeed. Originally, the Torreya located in the region, having a specific microclimate that is wetter and cooler than the surrounding region. However, the microclimate is easily affected by the changes of the weather conditions. And the global warming beget the weather of this region  becoming warmer and drier, and makes this region becomes unsuitable for Torreya to grow.

Secondly, the professor casts doubt on the passage that move the Torreya to an entirely different location by offering the example that the blacklocus trees were moved to a new region causing an unpredicted calamity to the new region.

Lastly, the professor points out that the research center might has no enough capacity to keep these Torreya in it. Preserving the Torreya in the research center is not a smart decision because the center cannot ensuring the Torreya can germinate in it. However, the passage holds a opposite opinion that preserving Torreya in research center can prevent them to decline.

E月羽

9月13日综合

In the lecture, the professor claims that the three ways to address the decline of Torreya are not satisfied solutions. Apparently, the claim does not agree with that of the passage, which states that the three ways can prevent the decline of Torreya effectively.

First of all, the professor indicates that reestablishing the Torrya in the same location is unlikely to succeed. Originally, the Torreya located in the region, having a specific microclimate that is wetter and cooler than the surrounding region. However, the microclimate is easily affected by the changes of the weather conditions. And the global warming beget(begets) the weather of this region becoming warmer and drier, and makes this region becomes unsuitable for Torreya to grow.

Secondly, the professor casts doubt on the passage that move the Torreya to an entirely different location by offering the example that the blacklocus trees were moved to a new region causing an unpredicted calamity to the new region.

Lastly, the professor points out that the research center might has no enough capacity to keep these Torreya in it. Preserving the Torreya in the research center is not a smart decision because the center cannot ensuring(ensure) the Torreya can germinate in it. However, the passage holds a opposite opinion that preserving Torreya in research center can



点评：内容差不多都点到了，只是可以叙述再详细点就更好了