作文贴~三战0524~

bonfin

修改  
A/D It is much easier for people to achieve successwithout their family member’s help now than in the past.

People always want to achieve success. In the past, family member’s help was essential for people to be successful. As time goes on, I think it’s much easier for us to achieve success without our family member’s help.

To begin with, Internet, together with computers, gives us access to the information critical （crucial?）for a person to be success(successful). Because we didn’t have so much spare time to read newspapers or magazines in the past, family members used to tell us the latest news that’s relevant to our career. Today, we can get the information about whatever we want to know on the Internet. In the past, when applying for jobs, we have to ask family members to help mail the resumes. But today, we can use e-mail instead, which will cost only seconds to send application letters. Family members are no longer as essential as they were for us to achieve success.

What’s more, when it refers to working, the abilities play a more important role than any other things in the 21^stcentury. Help from family might affect the promotion decades ago, however,there are scientific indexes measuring employees’ performance right now so that the hard work contributes to a person’s success, not family members’ help. Actually, there is no need to feel discouraged about the disadvantage of family background when doing jobs. Excellent knowledge and outstanding ability are highlights when applying for jobs.

In addition, because there are many new kinds of jobs thanks to the development of society, family members’ help can no longer help us as much as it would in the past. (帮助不能再像以前那样帮助我们。有些累赘。建议改为 family member can no longer help us as they would in the past.)The thoughts that are outdated can even give us trouble when we are pursuing our dreams. In this aspect, help from family may even cause bad effects.

It’s much easier for people to achieve success without family members’ help now than in the past because people are more open-minded and more rational when evaluating others’ ability. It’s good news for the young adults for they can show their talents without hesitation to achieve success.

总体来说行文流畅，逻辑清晰，没什么错误，继续加油~

xeyyxzty

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

When it comes to make decisions, patienceis usually not a good strategy. Personally, I think we should take actions nowrather than later. Though patience can offer you the chance to observe the situationclearly and precisely in order to make decisions more rational, taking actionswithout any hesitation is more efficient and better for the growth of a person.

To begin with, conditions change rapidlythat it’s crucial for us to seize the opportunity immediately when it comes. Patienceis a good quality when taking actions because we have to do the work step bystep. But it is not a good strategy when making decisions. Take my friend’sexperience as an example. She applied for internships last semester. Firstly, asmall firm gave her an offer while it was not her desired one. She was so ambitiousthat she didn’t reply to the company. Instead, she had the interviews of otherfirms. Several weeks later, no other companies admitted her. But when she wentback to have contact with the small firm, it refused her either, saying thatshe had missed the deadline of confirmation. The good strategy is takingactions when planning for the future.

What’s more, taking actions reveals a senseof confidence, which is one of the primary factors contributing to success. Thoughwe can’t deny the importance of patience, a decisive person can attract moretalented people. Confidence affects not only the decision-maker, but alsosupporters. It can help unite the people together to achieve the goal.

In addition, we can find the best strategywhile taking actions. Being patience can hardly give us any ideas but takingactions may stimulate us to do better. Scientists make discoveries because oftheir experiments, which have been done thousands of times. Failures can giveus experiences that are priceless for our growth. There is no need for us to beafraid of taking actions because the process of pursuing success is valuable. Ifwe take proper actions, we can get our desirable results. Even if actions are inappropriate,we can still learn from them and find a better solution.

Taking actions is prior to being patiencein many aspects. We can enjoy the process despite of the results becauseexperience itself is treasures. On the contrary, being patience makes peoplelose ambition and miss opportunities. Taking actions is a better strategy.

xeyyxzty

谢谢修改

修改  
A/D It is much easier for people to achieve successwithout their family member’s help now than in the past.

People always want to achieve success. In the past, family member’s help was essential for people to be successful. As time goes on, I think it’s much easier for us to achieve success without our family member’s help.

To begin with, Internet, together with computers, gives us access to the information critical （crucial?）for a person to be success(successful). Because we didn’t have so much spare time to read newspapers or magazines in the past, family members used to tell us the latest news that’s relevant to our career. Today, we can get the information about whatever we want to know on the Internet. In the past, when applying for jobs, we have to ask family members to help mail the resumes. But today, we can use e-mail instead, which will cost only seconds to send application letters. Family members are no longer as essential as they were for us to achieve success.

What’s more, when it refers to working, the abilities play a more important role than any other things in the 21^stcentury. Help from family might affect the promotion decades ago, however,there are scientific indexes measuring employees’ performance right now so that the hard work contributes to a person’s success, not family members’ help. Actually, there is no need to feel discouraged about the disadvantage of family background when doing jobs. Excellent knowledge and outstanding ability are highlights when applying for jobs.

In addition, because there are many new kinds of jobs thanks to the development of society, family members’ help can no longer help us as much as it would in the past. (帮助不能再像以前那样帮助我们。有些累赘。建议改为 family member can no longer help us as they would in the past.)The thoughts that are outdated can even give us trouble when we are pursuing our dreams. In this aspect, help from family may even cause bad effects.

It’s much easier for people to achieve success without family members’ help now than in the past because people are more open-minded and more rational when evaluating others’ ability. It’s good news for the young adults for they can show their talents without hesitation to achieve success.

总体来说行文流畅，逻辑清晰，没什么错误，继续加油~

-- by 会员 bonfin (2012/9/12 21:46:55)

bonfin

修改Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

When it comes to make decisions, patience is usually not a good strategy. Personally, I think we should take actions now rather than later. Though patience can offer you the chance to observe the situation clearly and precisely in order to make decisions more rational, taking actions without any hesitation is more efficient and better for the growth of a person.

To begin with, conditions change rapidly（前面已经是完整句子了。）. that it’s （It's）crucial for us to seize the opportunity immediately when it comes. Patience is a good quality when taking actions because we have to do the work step by step. But it is not a good strategy when making decisions. Take my friend’s experience as an example. She applied for internships last semester. Firstly, a small firm gave her an offer while it was not her desired one. She (, she) was so ambitious that she didn’t reply to the company. Instead, she had the interviews of other firms. Several weeks later, no other companies admitted her. But when she went back to have contact with the small firm, it refused her either, saying that she had missed the deadline of confirmation. The good strategy is taking actions when planning for the future.

What’s more, taking actions reveals a sense of confidence, which is one of the primary factors contributing to success. Though we can’t （刚才在群里问了大家，说不能有缩写哦，要写成cannot）deny the importance of patience, a decisive person can attract more talented people. Confidence affects not only the decision-maker, but also supporters. It can help unite the people together to achieve the goal.

In addition, we can find the best strategy while taking actions. Being patience (patient ) can hardly give us any ideas but taking actions may stimulate us to do better. Scientists make discoveries because of their experiments, which have been done thousands of times. Failures can give us experiences that are priceless for our growth. There is no need for us to be afraid of taking actions because the process of pursuing success is valuable. If we take proper actions, we can get our desirable results. Even if actions are inappropriate,we can still learn from them and find a better solution.

Taking actions is prior to being patience in many aspects. We can enjoy the process despite of the results because experience itself is treasures(treasure). On the contrary, being patience makes people lose ambition and miss opportunities. Taking actions is a better strategy.

不错，继续加油吖！

xeyyxzty

thanks to bonifn

修改Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

When it comes to make decisions, patience is usually not a good strategy. Personally, I think we should take actions now rather than later. Though patience can offer you the chance to observe the situation clearly and precisely in order to make decisions more rational, taking actions without any hesitation is more efficient and better for the growth of a person.

To begin with, conditions change rapidly（前面已经是完整句子了。）. that it’s （It's）crucial for us to seize the opportunity immediately when it comes. Patience is a good quality when taking actions because we have to do the work step by step. But it is not a good strategy when making decisions. Take my friend’s experience as an example. She applied for internships last semester. Firstly, a small firm gave her an offer while it was not her desired one. She (, she) was so ambitious that she didn’t reply to the company. Instead, she had the interviews of other firms. Several weeks later, no other companies admitted her. But when she went back to have contact with the small firm, it refused her either, saying that she had missed the deadline of confirmation. The good strategy is taking actions when planning for the future.

What’s more, taking actions reveals a sense of confidence, which is one of the primary factors contributing to success. Though we can’t （刚才在群里问了大家，说不能有缩写哦，要写成cannot）deny the importance of patience, a decisive person can attract more talented people. Confidence affects not only the decision-maker, but also supporters. It can help unite the people together to achieve the goal.

In addition, we can find the best strategy while taking actions. Being patience (patient ) can hardly give us any ideas but taking actions may stimulate us to do better. Scientists make discoveries because of their experiments, which have been done thousands of times. Failures can give us experiences that are priceless for our growth. There is no need for us to be afraid of taking actions because the process of pursuing success is valuable. If we take proper actions, we can get our desirable results. Even if actions are inappropriate,we can still learn from them and find a better solution.

Taking actions is prior to being patience in many aspects. We can enjoy the process despite of the results because experience itself is treasures(treasure). On the contrary, being patience makes people lose ambition and miss opportunities. Taking actions is a better strategy.

不错，继续加油吖！

-- by 会员 bonfin (2012/9/13 21:29:57)

xeyyxzty

不好意思呀~发晚了

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Colleges or universities should offer more courses to prepare students for thefuture before they start working.


Students in universities or colleges havethe chance to choose their elective courses. Some say that schools have alreadyoffered enough courses for students that there is no need to offer more. But inmy perspective, colleges or universities should offer more courses to preparestudents for the future before they start working.

To begin with, the requirement for a job inthe modern society changes a lot that applicants have to have a wide variety ofknowledge to compete with others. Students need to learn more when they are inschool to have advantages over competitors. For example, if a company plans toemploy a student learning building architectures, it prefers the student havingstudied courses of computers comparing with others who haven’t attended such acourse. Skills in computers not only improve the architect’s efficiency, butalso suggest that he has more potential. Obviously, the more you learn the moreprecedence you will have in the future.

What’s more, we can find out the realinterests and talents if we learn a lot. It’s impossible for a person to figureout his interest when he only had basic courses, like math. Nobody can deny thefact that talents and interests are essential to a person’s success. Musicians can’tbe the deaf because the deaf have no chance to hear the rhythms. It’s the samelike that people who haven’t heard music can never be a famous musician. Schoolshave to offer as many courses as possible to give students chances to recognizethemselves.

In addition, thanks to the development ofscience, numerous subjects come out every day that they need universitystudents carry on the researches. Students have no access to such subjectsunless schools offer the courses. Though students can search information on theInternet, it’s better for them to have courses because contents in classes aremore logical and easier to understand. Students have chances to work in the fieldof the new subject if schools offer more courses.

Though operation costs may increase forschools, benefits for students outweigh the drawbacks, I think. More coursescan offer students more opportunities when searching for jobs in the future. Besides,various courses will make students have more creativity, which is crucial inmodern society. Universities and colleges should offer more courses.

xeyyxzty

Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are noweasier to become educated than in the past?

Education is always an essential component contributingto people’s success. Mostly, getting education is one of the compulsories for citizens.However, not everyone has such a privilege. Some say that people are now haveless access to become educated. In my view, we are now easier to get educatedthan in the past.

To begin with, more schools have beenbuilt, which means that more students can be involved in the education system. Inthe past, there were not so many schools in rural areas as there are now sothat children living in such places were less likely to attend school. Besides,because of the poor economic conditions, not all of the families could affordthe tuitions. But today, more schools are available and people are wealthier. It’snot a heavy burden for people to pay the tuitions anymore.

What’s more, governments offer funds andloans for poor students. These actions can not only make more people geteducated, but also stimulate students to work harder. Take one of my classmatesas an example. Her parents cannot earn enough money to pay the tuitions. Thanksto the funds from government, she doesn’t need to drop out of school or dopart-time jobs. Instead, she can spend spare time attending after-classactivities, such as volleyball competitions. Actually, getting education is oneof the basic rights for humans. Though it’s impossible to make everybody get thechance, funds and loans make improve the situation.

In addition, as the development of society,people are aware of the importance of knowledge so that they are willing toinvest more money in the education for their children. In this aspect, morestudents will be involved in the education system. Adults are convinced thatknowledge can change people’s life. Besides, the number of infants born everyyear is smaller that competition among schools is severer than before. Schools haveto admit almost every child in order to keep on the operation.

We can’t deny the fact that tuitions arehigher year by year. People are now easier to become educated than in the past.People can get education via the Internet if they don’t have plenty time. Childrencan apply for funds to be educated. Obviously, almost everybody who want toreceive education has access to schools in different forms.

xeyyxzty

Some people think university professors should spendmore time doing research while others think they should spend more timeeducating students. What is your view?

同9.7独立~厚颜无耻的没有修改
As we all know, university professors havetwo jobs: teaching students and doing research. They must keep a balancebetween them, but there should be a focus. Some people think professors shouldspend more time educating students while others think they should concentrate onresearch instead. Personally, I tend to agree the latter opinion.

To begin, universities are research institutionsthat professors’ main job is to do research. People admire professors who havemade remarkable discoveries, not those who teach students well. Actually,professors are not teachers. University students have already developed theskill of self-study that professor just need to guide them in the rightdirection. For example, professors usually recommend books for students toread, instead of teaching them in class. Professors devote most of their timein research. For my view, they are scientists that being teachers is one ofobligations working in a university.

What’s more, professors can offer studentsopportunities to do special experiments if they have their own researchprojects. Students can do not only standard experiments required by textbooks,but also unique ones for professors’ researches. Such experience is beneficialand rare for students because it makes them involved in a real researchprocess. Once a professor focuses on teaching instead of researching, though hemay teach better, it’s still a loss for students not doing special experiments.

In addition, doing research makesprofessors get to know the frontier knowledge of the subject and the knowledgewill benefit students a lot. Basic knowledge rarely changes. If professors donot focus on researching, there is no difference between them and teachers inhigh schools. Education in university is a start for students to be scientists.Professors focusing on teaching students are not qualified to the job. Besides,doing research helps professors better understand knowledge taught in classthat it will be easier for students to learn.

I think university professors should focuson researching, though others believe they should spend more time on teachingstudents. University students have already developed the skill of self-studythat teachers no longer need to teach word by word. Focusing on researching cannot only help students study in a better way, but also make professors havemore breakthroughs that will benefit all the human beings.

xeyyxzty

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:similar jobs with you for your children?

When it’s time for children to choose jobs,parents have various thoughts. Some parents want to persuade their children todo the same job as they do because they want to help children have a betterfuture. Others ask children to make their own decisions. I’m in favor of thelatter opinion because choosing a suitable job relies on self-perception.

To start with, thanks to the improvement oftechnology and society, there are numerous jobs available today that were notexisted when our parents were looking for jobs. For example, decades ago, therewas no such a job named computer engineer. Meanwhile, there are jobs, likeconductors on the bus, disappeared. Society changes that jobs used to bepromising may be no longer a good choice today. We should choose jobsrationally. Though advice from parents is valuable, it’s just one of factorsthat should be taken into concern when making decisions.

What’s more, it’s not strange that childrenhave different interests and talents with those of their parents. In my perspective,it’s not wise when choosing jobs regardless of personal characteristic. Take oneof my family members as an example. My cousin graduated from university a yearago. When he was looking for jobs, his mom, who was an accountant, kept askinghim to do the same job as she did. Actually, my cousin wanted to be arestaurant manager because he thought he was skilled in communicating andmanaging. At last, he went to graduate school instead. Escape can never solveproblems. When choosing a job, we have to think about personal talents.

In addition, similar jobs now and in thepast may have different requirements as society changes. For example, cashiersin supermarkets need to know how to operate computers now, but in the past,they just needed to calculate accurately and precisely in a short time. In thisaspect, though parents might think that their children are fit for jobs, theymay be not. Besides, we can’t deny that if children do the same jobs as theirparents, parents’ achievements may become burdens of children, which givenegative effects on their growth.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to do thesimilar job as parents do. Decisions based on not only parents’ advice, but alsopersonal interests and characteristic of the time are more valuable. Careers areessential for everyone so that we should be rational when making decisions. Influencesof emotional factors have to be eliminated.

sang824

As we all know, university professors havetwo jobs: teaching students and doing research. They must keep a balancebetween them, but there should be a focus(这里的转折有点奇怪..可以改成To the general public, they should better focus on one area instead of keeping a balance between them). Some people think professors should spend more time educating students while others think they should concentrate onresearch instead. Personally, I tend to agree the latter opinion.

To begin, universities are research institutions so that professors’ main job is to do research. People admire professors who have made remarkable discoveries, not those who teach students well. Actually,professors are not teachers. University students have already developed theskill of self-study that(换成and或者其他表因果的逻辑词吧？) professor just need to guide them in the rightdirection. For example, professors usually recommend books for students toread, instead of teaching them in class. Professors devote most of their time in research. For my view, they are scientists that being teachers is one ofobligations working in a university.(They are scientists who work as teachers as one of obligatory work in university.)

What’s more, professors can offer studentsopportunities to do special experiments if they have their own researchprojects. Students can do not only standard experiments required by textbooks,but also unique ones for professors’ researches. Such experience is beneficialand rare for students because it makes them involved in a real researchprocess. Once a professor focuses on teaching instead of researching, though hemay teach better, it’s still a loss for students not doing special experiments.( if they take part in special experiment )

In addition, doing research makesprofessors get to know the frontier knowledge of the subject and the knowledge(换成定从which？)will benefit students a lot. Basic knowledge rarely changes. If professors donot focus on researching, there is no difference between them and teachers inhigh schools. Education in university is a start for students to be scientists.Professors focusing on teaching students are not qualified to the job. Besides,doing research helps professors better understand knowledge taught in classthat it will be easier for students to learn.(这句话没看明白.)

I think university professors should focuson researching, though others believe they should spend more time on teachingstudents. University students have already developed the skill of self-studythat teachers no longer need to teach word by word. Focusing on researching cannot only help students study in a better way, but also make professors havemore breakthroughs that will benefit all the human beings.

To 熊熊：总体感觉比较流畅，结尾很不错～
很明显的一个问题就是逻辑，像that的乱用文章出现了好几次，还有个别逻辑词没有体现它应该有的含义
个别语法错误有句子太长引起的，建议缩成几个短句吧？
例子可以再详细一点
加油～