付图图的作文帖 求调教！！求蹂躏！！

fuzhengrui

你的建议很中肯  谢谢！！！

有点事忙到现在才写作文 抱歉了

-- by 会员 loveluyuanbai (2012/9/21 23:04:08)

fuzhengrui

建议很中肯  谢谢！！！

9.21 综合
第二点确实木有写好啊
9.20综合写作：TPO24

The reading material holds the view that Tyrannosaurus rex still contains remains of the actual tissues because of the insides of its leg bone. The lecturer, however, remains skeptical about this idea and puts forward three reasons that conflicts(conflict) with that of reading material.

To begin with, the reading thinks that small branching channels found might indicate the existence of actual blood vessels of T.rex. But according to the lecturer, bacteria colonized in the bone and produced the organic substances inside the bone. The remains of blood vessels could actually be soft moist residue(left by bacteria).

Furthermore, the presence of spheres is found in other primitive animals as well as T.rex which implies that what was found in the bone was actually reddish mineral.
(这一段还算完整，不过有点少诶，detail缺少了一个，primitive animals do not contain red blood cells.)

Moreover, the passage says that collagen was found in the bone, but the lecturer negates this idea. He points out that collagen was not able to be existent for more than 100,000 years. However, the bone was dated back to 700,000 years ago. Therefore, he thinks that the collagen was from other （recent） sources such as researchers' skin instead of the bone itself.

To conclude, the passage thinks blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix prove that the bone was from T.rex（这里表述有点问题吧~应该是residues represent blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix.）. But the professor provides several conflicting reasons to show（that） the conclusion from reading is not persuasive.

Conclusion:听力细节还得注重，尤其是第二个主段，注意语言方面的准确性~

-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/9/21 20:51:42)

fuzhengrui

9.22综合写作：TPO2

The reading material points out several advantages of working as a team. However, the lecturer holds the exactly opposite opinion, refuting all the reasons given by the reading.

To begin with, teamwork is not as beneficial as stated in the reading according to the professor. Although more people means a wider range of knowledge and seem to get the work done efficiently, it is likely that some team members get free ride and do nothing for the team. If so, the efficiency is not as ideal as it is supposed. Besides, it is common that one or two members contribute very fantastic ideas to the group and make the team a success. But the honor goes to all members instead of the real contributors. Therefore, what the contributors think may be just opposite to what the reading material suggests.

Furthermore, the professor thinks that making up a team does not necessarily exert favorable effect on individuals. During the discussion, everyone has his own idea, which makes it harder to reach consensus. Even though every member spits out his plan of the project, it is usually the head who makes the final decision, putting other plans aside. Moreover, when the team draws a wrong conclusion and the minority warn the rest of the danger, the warning is usually ignored. Once the team fails to complete the project, blame is placed on every team member.

In conclusion, the reading material supports working as a team but the lecturer cannot disagree any more with it.

fuzhengrui

9.23独立写作：
The competition between friends always has negative effect



Once born, we have been exposed to many kinds of competitions throughout the whole life. On most occasions, we have to deal with peer pressure. A successful man must have experienced fierce competition with his peers and ultimately stand out from them. From my perspective, competitions are beneficial to us if we get the essence of them.

Competitions make us aware of our shortcomings compared to others. There has been no one perfect and there never will. In order to succeed, we are supposed to compete with our friends and learn from their strong points as well as make up for our own drawbacks. LeBron James and Kevin Durant are the best small forwards in the world but LeBron dominate the entire league with amazingly strong body while Kevin is expert in fantastic long-range shot. However, their advantages are the other’s weakness. On the court, they are rivals, but their personal relationship is amicable. The two superstars experience devil training, defense the other and learn from each other every summer instead of training on their own. This kind of training is not merely a training, but a competition. They will find out who scores more efficiently, grab more rebound and send out more blocks. Therefore, before every season sets off, we will witness the emergence of two superstars with more dominant power. This kind of competition enables LeBron and Kevin to get a better understanding of the other’s strong point and learn from it to make them undefeatable.

Although I am favor of competitions between peers and friends, I am not saying that I support all kinds of competitions. My point is based on the hypothesis that all the competitors play fair and learn from others with an open mind. If some competitors failed to stick to the rule or even set up others, things would be different. When I was in middle school, I was selected as a member of soccer team. In the final game of the year, we encountered one of the best teams here and both teams were desperate for the champion. My team kept discussing about the strategies before the game, but one student from the other team violated the spirit of sport and even put some nails in the shoes of ours. Luckily, we found them before anyone got hurt. However, we were disappointed and shocked by the lack of sportsmanship. Eventually, we resorted to the referee and he deprived the other team of its qualification along with the champion. Unfair competition, such as abuse of drugs, is very common, especially in sports. Not only do competitions of this kind fail to enhance participants’ abilities, but they show the dark side of human nature as well. That is why it is our obligation to advocate fair competitions.

Related to the preceding discussion is my conclusion that whether competitions do harm or good to us depends heavily on what we desire to get from them. If we want to improve ourselves and learn from other, competition is an ideal way. However, if we do whatever we want to seek short-term satisfactory, the dark side of competition far outweigh its bright side.

fuzhengrui

9.24独立写作
Which do you choose to improve your health：kind of food you eat，amount of exercise，amount of stress

Increasing quality of life enables people to place more emphasis on living a healthy lifestyle. Some people throw themselves in the gym after work to stay in shape while others would like to be exposed to a little stress to energize themselves. From my perspective, however, I am fond of healthy food to improve my health conditions as following reasons.

Food provides indispensable nutrients and energy for our daily needs and metabolism. As a saying goes, "you are what you eat". We may survive without doing sports or working for a period of time, but never can we possibly live through when we do not have access to food for more than three days. To have a good health, we are supposed to have a balanced diet and put less oil or salt in our food while cooking. When I was a little boy, I got a crush on junk food, went to fast food stores on every other day to devour hamburgers that contain excessive oil and fat. You can imagine how plump and unhealthy I was. After finding out that I had a fatty liver as well as hypertension, so scared was I that I resolved to get rid of these diseases to which the elderly is usually prone. At first, I found it a torture to eat vegetables without meat, but I forced myself to do so for the sake of good health. One month later, when my liver was no longer fatty and my blood pressure was back to normal, I still stuck to healthy food such as lettuce, cabbage and onion, and it has never changed ever since. I could not imagine how poor my health would be if I had not abandoned the junk food. Therefore, what happened to me best explains the great importance of healthy food.

Admittedly, although I hold the view that healthy food is prior to the exercise and stress, it does not mean that we do not need them anymore. Having sports such as jogging and swimming promotes our metabolism, helps clean up the waste in our body and builds our strength. Likewise, adequate amount of stress prevents ourselves from indolence as well as sets goals for us to strive for. However, it is healthy food that counts to ensure all the activities we take part in every day. Without healthy food, what would be used to build our strength or provide energy for our stressful jobs? The answer is nothing for sure. Therefore, we can never overemphasize the indispensability of healthy food.

Related to preceding discussion is the conclusion that healthy food is of particular importance compared to stress and exercise. For me, I have experienced the huge benefits brought by healthy food, and I will definitely adhere to eat healthy food to keep fit for the rest of my life.

最后一次杀T

Increasingquality of life enables people to place more emphasis on living a healthylifestyle. Some people throw themselves in the gym after work to build goodfigures while others would like to be exposed to a little stress to energizethemselves. From my perspective, however, I am fond of healthy food to improvemy health conditions as following reasons.

Food provides indispensable sources andenergy for our daily needs and metabolism. As a saying goes, "you are whatyou eat". We may survive without doing sports for a period of time, butnever can we possibly live through when we do not have access to food for morethan three days. To have a good health, we are supposed to havea balanced diet and put less oil or salt while cooking. 【And两边动词对称关系有歧义，个人认为可以改成名词对称。即we aresupposed to have a balanced diet and low-fat, low-salt meal】When I was a little boy, I got a crushon junk food and went to fast food store on every other day and had big meals. You can imagine how fat and unhealthy I was. After finding out thatI had
a fatty liver, I resolved to get rid of this disease to which the elderly isprone. At first, I found it a torture to eat vegetables without meat, but Iforced myself to do so for the sake of good health. One month later, when myliver was no longer fatty, I stuck to healthy food such as lettuce, cabbage andonion, and it has never changed ever since. Therefore, what happened to me bestexplains the great importance of healthy food.
【替换词 illustrate】
Admittedly, although I hold the viewthat healthy food is prior to the exercise and stress, it does not mean that wedo not need them anymore. Having sports such as jogging and swimming promotesour metabolism, helps clean up the waste in our body and builds our strength.Likewise, adequate amount of stress prevents ourselves from indolence as wellas sets goals for us to strive for. However, it is healthy food that counts toensure all the activities we take part in every day. Without healthy food, whatwould be used to build our strength or provide energy for our stressful jobs?So we can never overemphasize the indispensability of healthy food.

Related to preceding discussion is theconclusion that food is of particular importance compared to stress andexercise. For me, I have experienced the huge benefits brought by healthy food,and I will definitely adhere to eat healthy food to keep fit for the rest of mylife.【题目的目的是improve health，私以为改成keep fit有点片面了。。还是improve health比较切题。】最后就是结构上，一个理由貌似有点少，虽然字数上够了，但是inadequate。
总得来说，写的非常好，学习了。如果我说的有错误，也请多多指教···

loveluyuanbai

来晚了，有点事！见谅