求综合部分提高..Writing加油!!

陈喵喵holdon

10.12独立
The most important characteristic of a politician or a leader is the good communication skill

Recently the topic of characteristics which are important for becoming a successful politician or a leader has been discussed more. Meanwhile, while there is increased attention on interactive communication skills, it has been considered as the most significant characteristic for politicians and leaders. Personally, I do not agree with this view, and the reasons are as follows.

To begin with, there are other factors which cannot be ignored when talking about the characteristics to determine a successful politician or leader, responsibility. This is because it is the basis to deal with problems toward the right direction, as well as to determine whether one person will make every effort to solve problems. As the former president of the United States, Bush, stated in one of his speeches in Harvard University, responsibility could help to form a group in a proper way, and was a kind of characteristic that will be used in every step when settling problems. Thus, responsibility is a factor that cannot be weighed less important than communication skills.

Moreover, it is the organizing ability which plays a vital role in judging an excellent politician or leader. In other words, relatively better ability to organize people and to take advantage of members is crucial. A research organized by students from the Peking University reveals over 70% of participants to consider organizing ability when choosing a leader or voting for a politician. Furthermore, politicians or leaders with comparatively outstanding organizing ability will always lead to better performances. To conclude, group operations can be more efficient when there is a leader with good organizational skills.

In addition, although there is undeniable importance of interactive communication skills, it cannot be considered as the most important element for a successful politician or leader. If a politicianor leader with excellent skills of communication does not have the ability to lead a group or organize members appropriately, or cannot be responsible enough to move forward, there may be negative consequences. In the example of the Database Designing and Management course’s group work, our leader has really good communication skills to express ideas but does not allocate the right things to everyone according to our personalities. As a result, our final markis below the average, despite us members’ hard working on the project.

In conclusion, communication skills cannot be ignored when determining a politician or leader, whereas it cannot be the only, or the most important characteristic. However, other factors such as responsibility and organizing skills should be taken into consideration as well.

Catherie

红色部分 表示需改正
黄色部分 表建议
绿色表 very good

10.12综合TPO22

The reading passage explores the critics（？这个单词是批评家的意思） about regarding（去掉其中一个） ethanol fuels as an alternative to gasoline in the UnitedStates. However, the professor in the lecture thinks that it is actually a goodreplacement of gasoline, and no one of the critics offered in the reading isconvincing. Also, the professor supports his view by pointing out three areas（aspects） of evidence.

To begin with, although the reading suggeststhat the increased use of ethanol fuel would（用现在时will） nothelp to solve the environmental problem of global warming, .The professorcontends that the use of ethanol fuel at least not adds(wiil not add/dose not add) global warming. This is because during the growing processof corns, which are the materials of making ethanol, carbon dioxide is absorbedto make nutrition, which means CO2 is removed meanwhile it is produced. As a result,that counteracts theexaggeration of global warming(个人觉得这句感觉很chi-english). Obviously, the professor disproves thecounterpart in the reading passage.

Moreover, despite the statement provided inthe reading that ethanol is made of corns that are food for some animals, theprofessor argues that this does not have to reduce sources of food for animals.In other words, ethanol-making uses a composition of corns’ cell walls, whichis not eaten by animals and always recycles in the nature.

Finally, the professor asserts that ethanol’sprice will be able to compete with gasoline, whereas the author of the readingclaims that ethanol’s price will be very high as soon as the government stopsoffering tax subsidies. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing outthat once the production of ethanol becomes larger resulted from people’sgreater consumption, its price will drop consequently. In more details, theremay be an over 3 times production of ethanol which leads to a price decrease of (by)40%.

写的挺好的，细节什么都都有了……字数真的好足。。。。要避免一些简单的语法错误。

陈喵喵holdon

红色部分 表示需改正
黄色部分 表建议
绿色表 very good

10.12综合TPO22

The reading passage explores the critics（？这个单词是批评家的意思） about regarding（去掉其中一个） ethanol fuels as an alternative to gasoline in the UnitedStates. However, the professor in the lecture thinks that it is actually a goodreplacement of gasoline, and no one of the critics offered in the reading isconvincing. Also, the professor supports his view by pointing out three areas（aspects） of evidence.

To begin with, although the reading suggeststhat the increased use of ethanol fuel would（用现在时will） nothelp to solve the environmental problem of global warming, .The professorcontends that the use of ethanol fuel at least not adds(wiil not add/dose not add) global warming. This is because during the growing processof corns, which are the materials of making ethanol, carbon dioxide is absorbedto make nutrition, which means CO2 is removed meanwhile it is produced. As a result,that counteracts theexaggeration of global warming(个人觉得这句感觉很chi-english). Obviously, the professor disproves thecounterpart in the reading passage.

Moreover, despite the statement provided inthe reading that ethanol is made of corns that are food for some animals, theprofessor argues that this does not have to reduce sources of food for animals.In other words, ethanol-making uses a composition of corns’ cell walls, whichis not eaten by animals and always recycles in the nature.

Finally, the professor asserts that ethanol’sprice will be able to compete with gasoline, whereas the author of the readingclaims that ethanol’s price will be very high as soon as the government stopsoffering tax subsidies. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing outthat once the production of ethanol becomes larger resulted from people’sgreater consumption, its price will drop consequently. In more details, theremay be an over 3 times production of ethanol which leads to a price decrease of (by)40%.

写的挺好的，细节什么都都有了……字数真的好足。。。。要避免一些简单的语法错误。

-- by 会员 Catherie (2012/10/13 15:41:15)

第一段的regarding不是about的意思,是连着后面的regard...as...
标点的问题貌似我原来的写的没有,转载复制后就有了。
关于chi-english那句,counteract二氧化碳的排放是听力原文的说法,我改成了counteractGW的加剧。

AnthonySummer

The most important characteristic of a politician or a leader is the good communication skill



Recently the topic of characteristics which are important for becoming a successful politician or a leader has been discussed more. Meanwhile, while there is increased attention on interactive communication skills, it has been considered as the most significant characteristic for politicians and leaders. Personally, I do not agree with this view, and the reasons are as follows.（希望能精简 with the following reasons：）



To begin with, there are other factors which cannot be ignored when talking about the characteristics to determine a successful politician or leader, responsibility. This is because it is the basis to deal with problems toward the right direction, as well as to determine whether one person will make every effort to solve problems. As the former president of the United States, Bush, stated in one of his speeches in Harvard University,（加个连词that吧）responsibility could help to form a group in a proper way, and was a kind of characteristic that will be used in every step when settling (setting) problems. Thus, responsibility is a factor that cannot be weighed less important than communication skills.



Moreover, it is the organizing ability which plays a vital role in judging an excellent politician or leader. In other words, relatively better ability to organize people and to take advantage of members is crucial. A research organized by students from the Peking University reveals over 70% of participants to consider organizing ability when choosing a leader or voting for a politician. Furthermore, politicians or leaders with comparatively outstanding organizing ability will always lead toa(加个冠词)better performances. To conclude, group operations can be more efficient when there is a leader with good organizational skills.



In addition, although there is undeniable importance of interactive communication skills, it cannot be considered as the most important element for a successful politician or leader. If a politician or leader with excellent skills of communication does not have the ability to lead a group or organize members appropriately, or cannot be responsible enough to move forward. There may be negative consequences. In the example of the Database Designing and Management course's group work, our leader has really good communication skills to express ideas but does not allocate the right things to everyone according to our personalities. As a result, our final mark is below the average, despite our members' hard working on the project.



In conclusion, communication skills cannot be ignored when determining a politician or leader, whereas it cannot be the only, or the most important characteristic. However, other factors such as responsibility and organizing skills should be taken into consideration as well.



Nice job！有说的不对的地方请多多指出，多多指教啊，加油！

Catherie

哦哦，原来是这样，那基本都没什么问题了，你几号考？

陈喵喵holdon

哦哦，原来是这样，那基本都没什么问题了，你几号考？

-- by 会员 Catherie (2012/10/14 10:44:27)

还不知道..想报这周末的,可是在的城市没有考点..T T 你呢??

Catherie

哦哦，原来是这样，那基本都没什么问题了，你几号考？

-- by 会员 Catherie (2012/10/14 10:44:27)

还不知道..想报这周末的,可是在的城市没有考点..T T 你呢??

-- by 会员 陈喵喵holdon (2012/10/14 22:26:24)

11.2号……

陈喵喵holdon

10.21独立
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others,you will use e-mail or text messaging, OR use thetelephone or voice-messaging.

As the recent development of communication technology, people nowadays have more choices when it comes to contact each other, such as e-mails, text messages, telephone calls or voice messages.However, when people are discussing upsetting or controversial problems withothers, these communication methods do not have equal effects. Personally speaking, I prefer to use telephone calls or voice messages while having such sensitive topics because of their advantages which listed below.

To begin with, controversial topics themselves have meanings which are easy to misunderstand, so using direct voice communication is a better choice. Generally, information written down has higher possibilities to convey unexpected meanings than voice messages, which to some extent contributed to the creation of voice communication tools, such asvoice call and cell phones. In addition, telephones and voice messages can express with different voices and tones, which can make communications more accurately. For example, a higher volume may indicate different opinions, which can be noticed by listeners and by this means, to avoid further opposite response.

Moreover, as disputable topics’ needs for interaction by participants, contact of telephones and voice messages fulfill this requirement. To further the discussion, speakers need to share opinions,make comments and solve problems, which cannot be obtained by simply writing ane-mail or a text message. A research done by students from the Peking University reveals that most participants of the survey prefer voice messages rather than written-form information because they can be regarded as interactive communications, and that is one of the goals of disputable topic discussion.

Finally, what is needed in a talk of upsetting and controversial topic is efficiency, as more time can be saved by voice messages delivery and understanding. A good case in point is the popular communication application, Weixin. It adds voice function to traditional textone, and result in uses of large number of persons to discuss daily things, including debatable issues. Based on Weixin’s function, it becomes a symbol of free and convenient talking. Consequently, that supports the assertion that voice messages are more feasible in terms of controversial topics discussion.

From what has been discussed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that to use telephones and voice messages is more advantageous than to use e-mails and text messages, since they can provide more precise expression of information, more interactive atmosphere and higher efficiency.

bonnenuit

As the recent development of communication technology, people nowadays have more choices when it comes to contact(with) each other, such as e-mails, text messages, telephone calls or voice messages.However, when people are discussing upsetting or controversial problems with others, these communication methods do not have equal effects. Personally speaking, I prefer to use telephone calls or voice messages while having such sensitive topics because of their( 如果这个their就近看的话就是topics了,会曲解句意）advantages which listed below.

To begin with, controversial topics themselves have meanings which are easy to (be misunderstaood)misunderstand, so using direct voice communication is a better choice. Generally, information written down has higher possibilities to convey unexpected meanings than voice messages do, which to some extent contributed to the creation of voice communication tools, such a svoice call and cell phones（这句真心没看懂，which后面这个to是接convey的宾语从句？）. In addition, telephones and voice messages can express with different voices and tones, which can make communications more accurately. For example, a higher volume may indicate different opinions, which can be noticed by listeners and by this means（and前最好加个逗号，否则两个by就并列成同一个意思了）, to avoid further opposite response.

Moreover, as disputable topics’ needs（‘s只能用于人或活物上，换of) for interaction by participants, contact of telephones and voice messages fulfill this requirement. To further the discussion, speakers need to share opinions,make comments and solve problems, which cannot be obtained by simply writing ane-mail or a text message. A research done by students from the Peking University reveals that most participants of the survey prefer voice messages rather than written-form information because they can be regarded as interactive communications, and that is one of the goals of disputable topic discussion(太复杂了点，直接one goal of....).

Finally, what is needed in a talk of upsetting and controversial topic is efficiency, as more time can be saved by voice messages delivery and understanding(被动）. A good case in point is the popular communication application, Weixin. It adds voice function to traditional textone, and results in uses of large number of persons to discuss daily things(这个表达不对，that many people use weixin。。。。。） , including debatable issues. Based on Weixin’s function, it becomes a symbol of freedom and convenient talking. Consequently, that(that最好不要在一个独立完整句子里做主语） supports the assertion that voice messages are more feasible in terms of controversial topics discussion.

From what has been discussed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that to use（using） telephones and voice messages is more advantageous（这个词不常见，换reliable） than to use e-mails and text messages, since they（指代不明） can provide more precise expression of information, more interactive atmosphere and higher efficiency.

有些指代词使用不是很恰当 建议多看看语法
句型可以多变换一下 祈使句啊 倒装句啊 都可以用用
长句子不一定好 也容易产生错误

陈喵喵holdon

11.3独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Peopletoday would be happier if they had fewer possessions.


As the increase of people’s living standards in recent decades, disputes related to possessions such as unfair distributions or competitions occur at a higher frequency. As a result, some contend that people nowadays would be happier if they had fewer possessions. However, I totally disagree with this statement and regard possessions as a quite important factor in modern life. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is admittedly that basic personal needs cannot be satisfied without enough possessions. On one hand, daily consumptions such as food, clothes and transportations need money, and more possessions means higher levels in both quantity and quality. On the otherhand, more possessions guarantee spiritual enjoyment beyond fundamental daily necessities. For example, a relatively larger amount of money is required in not only pleasure activities such as attending concerts, but also relaxation like traveling across other countries. In addition, based on a research that was conducted by 7 students in the Peking University, over 90% of research participants showed higher satisfaction if they could own more possessions, which would met their essential needs. Therefore, fewer possessions will not lead to happier life attitudes.

Furthermore, disease, one of the factors deprive of people’s happiness, requires considerable amount of money, and as a result, more possessions can solve this problem. Recently, more concern has been put on human health while disease has been regarded as one of the major human killers. Except the curing difficulties, the extremely expensive medical fees cannot be ignored. Suppose that one member of a family suffers from a disease but the family cannot afford the fees. Under such circumstance, how can they obtain happiness? To conclude, more possessions can offer opportunities to cure adisease, which guarantees the health problem, and that is the basis of living ahappy life.

Finally, some argue that when people have more possessions, they tend to be more selfish and that may lead to unfair competitions and treatments. However, it is the nature of some persons that determines such behavior, and this sort of behaviors exists no matter how wealth a person is. A good case in point is that although the economic standards has enhanced substantially since Chinese liberation, some citizens who became wealthy afterwards still experience economic disputes. Only when people have better natures and positive living attitudes can they become happier.

To summarize, to have fewer possessions does not necessarily mean a happier live as more possessions can both meet people’s daily needs and result in a comparatively high-quality life. Also, it is the human nature, instead of possessions, determines daily behaviors and living attitudes.