nirvanababy

nirvanababy

[6.11综合]TPO19

nirvanababy

[6.11独立] Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person.

zombiee

[6.10独立] Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.

Referring to the problem whether parents limit the hours a child spends on watching TV, views differ greatly. Some people think that children can relax and gain some useful knowledge from the TV shows. But as far as I’m concerned, TV shows have more bad affects on children than the good ones.

First and foremost, with more and more violence materials appear in movies or TV shows, children are more easily getting reach to them. As a result, children may imitate the action of the TV characters. For example, a student in America killed his classmate with no reason. When police got into investigation, they found the TV shows with violence influenced him deeply and distorted his mind. Parents sometimes cannot guarantee that their children can keep away from this kind of TV shows. Because if the children spend several hours on the TV shows, parents who have their other work could not speculate them frequently. One way to solve the problem is to limit the hours that they watch TV.

Moreover, children indeed can relax themselves by watching TV shows, but the knowledge they can get from the TV shows may be slight. Because the children like to watch cartoon and some funny TV shows. These programs are made just for fun and don’t have the useful information people expected. On the contrary, children should read more books to enrich their knowledge and take part in activities to improve their ability to get along with other children. These are more meaningful than spending a couple of hours on TV shows. Children who are close to nature will have incredible imagination, creation and more importantly, the sympathy to the whole nature.

Last but not least, children may spend so many times on TV shows that they could not finish their homework on time. If they get used to the bad habit, they will became procrastinators. If they continue to procrastinate, they will not catch up with the courses in the school. On the other hand, getting addicted in watching TV shows could damage their eyesight. Therefore, cutting down the hours they spend on TV means a lot to their study and health.

In conclusion, parents should pay attention to the influence of TV shows and limit the hours their children spending on the TV shows.

-- by 会员 nirvanababy (2012/6/12 17:03:19)

红：不太对，蓝：建议修改，绿：好词好句
Referring to(主语是views不能发出这个动作吧，应该是人发出的动作) the problem（problem表出了问题，直接跟whether从句做宾从即可） whether parents（+should） limit the hours a child spends on watching TV, views differ greatly. Some people think that children can relax and gain some useful knowledge from the TV shows. But as far as I’m concerned, TV shows have more bad affects on children than the good ones.

First and foremost, with more and more violence materials（content） appear in movies or TV shows, children are more easily getting reach（exposed） to them. As a result, children may imitate the action of the TV characters. For example, a student in America killed his classmate with no reason. When police got into investigation, they found the TV shows with violence influenced him deeply and distorted his mind. Parents sometimes cannot guarantee that their children can keep away from this kind of TV shows. Because if the children spend several hours on the TV shows, parents who have their other work (be busy in their careers) could not speculate(watch on) them frequently. One way to solve the problem is to limit the hours that they(指代不明前面有两个复数名词)(the children spend on TV) watch TV.

Moreover（表顺接，这里开始转折）, children indeed can relax themselves by watching TV shows, but the knowledge they can get from the TV shows may be slight. Because the children like to watch cartoon and some funny TV shows. These programs are made just for fun and don’t have the useful information people expected. On the contrary, children should read more books to enrich their knowledge and take part in activities to improve their ability to get along with other children. These are more meaningful than spending a couple of hours on TV shows. Children who are close to nature will have incredible imagination, creation and （，）more importantly, the sympathy to the whole nature.

Last but not least, children may spend so many times on TV shows that they could not finish their homework on time. If they get used to the bad habit, they will became procrastinators. If they continue to procrastinate, they will not catch up with the courses in the school. On the other hand, getting addicted in（to） watching TV shows could damage their eyesight. Therefore, cutting down the hours they spend on TV means a lot to their study and health.

In conclusion, parents should pay attention to the influence of TV shows and limit the hours their children spending on the TV shows.
总体不错，表达清楚，句式有变换，注意一些词的用法和句意的准确表达。还有就是努力增加字数。好像感觉写的挺仓促，最后一段有点少，不过时间有限写成这样也可以了。
第一次改，不妥之处请见谅，加油

nirvanababy

[6.10独立] Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.

Referring to the problem whether parents limit the hours a child spends on watching TV, views differ greatly. Some people think that children can relax and gain some useful knowledge from the TV shows. But as far as I’m concerned, TV shows have more bad affects on children than the good ones.

First and foremost, with more and more violence materials appear in movies or TV shows, children are more easily getting reach to them. As a result, children may imitate the action of the TV characters. For example, a student in America killed his classmate with no reason. When police got into investigation, they found the TV shows with violence influenced him deeply and distorted his mind. Parents sometimes cannot guarantee that their children can keep away from this kind of TV shows. Because if the children spend several hours on the TV shows, parents who have their other work could not speculate them frequently. One way to solve the problem is to limit the hours that they watch TV.

Moreover, children indeed can relax themselves by watching TV shows, but the knowledge they can get from the TV shows may be slight. Because the children like to watch cartoon and some funny TV shows. These programs are made just for fun and don’t have the useful information people expected. On the contrary, children should read more books to enrich their knowledge and take part in activities to improve their ability to get along with other children. These are more meaningful than spending a couple of hours on TV shows. Children who are close to nature will have incredible imagination, creation and more importantly, the sympathy to the whole nature.

Last but not least, children may spend so many times on TV shows that they could not finish their homework on time. If they get used to the bad habit, they will became procrastinators. If they continue to procrastinate, they will not catch up with the courses in the school. On the other hand, getting addicted in watching TV shows could damage their eyesight. Therefore, cutting down the hours they spend on TV means a lot to their study and health.

In conclusion, parents should pay attention to the influence of TV shows and limit the hours their children spending on the TV shows.

-- by 会员 nirvanababy (2012/6/12 17:03:19)

红：不太对，蓝：建议修改，绿：好词好句
Referring to(主语是views不能发出这个动作吧，应该是人发出的动作) the problem（problem表出了问题，直接跟whether从句做宾从即可） whether parents（+should） limit the hours a child spends on watching TV, views differ greatly. Some people think that children can relax and gain some useful knowledge from the TV shows. But as far as I’m concerned, TV shows have more bad affects on children than the good ones.

First and foremost, with more and more violence materials（content） appear in movies or TV shows, children are more easily getting reach（exposed） to them. As a result, children may imitate the action of the TV characters. For example, a student in America killed his classmate with no reason. When police got into investigation, they found the TV shows with violence influenced him deeply and distorted his mind. Parents sometimes cannot guarantee that their children can keep away from this kind of TV shows. Because if the children spend several hours on the TV shows, parents who have their other work (be busy in their careers) could not speculate(watch on) them frequently. One way to solve the problem is to limit the hours that they(指代不明前面有两个复数名词)(the children spend on TV) watch TV.

Moreover（表顺接，这里开始转折）, children indeed can relax themselves by watching TV shows, but the knowledge they can get from the TV shows may be slight. Because the children like to watch cartoon and some funny TV shows. These programs are made just for fun and don’t have the useful information people expected. On the contrary, children should read more books to enrich their knowledge and take part in activities to improve their ability to get along with other children. These are more meaningful than spending a couple of hours on TV shows. Children who are close to nature will have incredible imagination, creation and （，）more importantly, the sympathy to the whole nature.

Last but not least, children may spend so many times on TV shows that they could not finish their homework on time. If they get used to the bad habit, they will became procrastinators. If they continue to procrastinate, they will not catch up with the courses in the school. On the other hand, getting addicted in（to）watching TV shows could damage their eyesight. Therefore, cutting down the hours they spend on TV means a lot to their study and health.

In conclusion, parents should pay attention to the influence of TV shows and limit the hours their children spending on the TV shows.
总体不错，表达清楚，句式有变换，注意一些词的用法和句意的准确表达。还有就是努力增加字数。好像感觉写的挺仓促，最后一段有点少，不过时间有限写成这样也可以了。
第一次改，不妥之处请见谅，加油

-- by 会员 zombiee (2012/6/12 22:52:47)

谢谢亲帮我改的作文，建议收下啦。
第一句就改为，Views differ greatly when it comes to whether parents limit the hours a child spends on watching TV.
第三段主要还是写的支持限制，如果把moreover改成however，这句话后面还有一个but呢，but后的内容是本段的重心。首句可不可以改为：Moreover, the knowledge they can get from the TV shows may be slight，although children indeed can relax themselves by watching TV shows.

nirvanababy

[6.12综合]TPO20

nirvanababy

[6.12独立]

nirvanababy

[6.13综合]TPO21

In the reading passage, the writer claims that growing genetically modified trees will bring a lot of benefits. However, the lecturer refutes the opinions in three aspects.

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the natural trees may be survived in few amounts if suffer from climate changes and insects because of their genetic diversities. On the contrary, the genetically modified trees lack of genetic variety. Therefore, they might die away in some certain conditions.

Moreover, the lecturer argues that although cultivating genetically modified trees can bring economic benefits, it will cost much more than growing natural trees. For one thing, the farmers would pay more to buy the seeds of genetically modified trees. For another thing, it is cited in the laws that farmers should pay company money once they plant a genetically modified tree. As a result, considering the hinder costs, they may not get more benefits than growing unmodified trees.

Finally, the genetically modified trees may spread aggressively. They will compete with native trees for nutrient elements in the soil, sunlight, water and spaces. Consequently, genetically modifies trees will damage native trees other than preventing them from destroy. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor, and the professor has completely different points.

nirvanababy

[6.13独立]

nirvanababy

[6.14综合]TPO22

nirvanababy

[6.14独立]