才开始写，求拍砖~

hysx1988

Have you ever went into a university which is far more away from your hometown？Have you ever moved to a big city to search for better job and a brighter future? Have you ever lived in a different country to experienced different culture? There is no doubt that a multitude of people think that moving to a new place is not a good thing due to loss of old friends, while a overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that their worry is unnecessary.


To begin with, we can keep in touch with old friends as frequent as before despite a long distance. Technology is developing rapidly everyday. With the wide cover of internet, Facebook, Twitter, Msn and Gmail jump into our life, which provide people with great convenience in communication. We can chat with our friends face to face whenever we like and wherever we are. Plus, transportation is very accessible and affordable to most people. After graduation, I got a job position in a big company in Beijing, whereas my best friend, Coco, stays in Shanghai in which my university is. In daily life, we often share our life and work on msn, and we fly to see each other in holiday. Consequently, we still have a very close relationship


Furthermore, true friends can stand the trial of distance and time. A famous poetry of Tang dynasty said that a bosom friend afar brings a distant land near. No matter how far away, a true friend can miss you and care about you forever. This is why friendship is great. A case in point is one of my childhood friends with whom I had lose contact for many years. Once I was going shopping, she recognized me and stopped me. Then we went to a Starbuck, she told me that she missed me so much and wanted to if I am fine. We never forgot each other even though we lost contact for many years.


Last but not the least, with newly-gained different experience after separation, friends can have more interesting experience to share and more knowledge to learn from each other, and thus more interesting topics to talk about. Since I moved to Beijing, life is totally different with that of Shanghai, such as the food, climate, dialect and culture. It is the diversity of our daily experience that gives me and my best friends more interesting subjects of a talk.


In the modern world, situation is changing almost every day. We cannot stop our steps to run after succeed and happy. Moving to another place is not equal to lose our friends. A friend to a person is what water to fish. A true friend will always support your decision and feel happy to your happiness. The distance between your hearts will never be as far as the geographic distance.

花呀clear

Have you ever went into a university which is far more away from your hometown？Have you ever moved to a big city to search for better job and a brighter future? Have you ever lived in a different country to experienced(experience) different culture? There is no doubt that a multitude of people think that moving to a new place is not a good thing due to loss of old friends, while a overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that their worry is unnecessary.


To begin with, we can keep in touch with old friends as frequent as before despite a long distance. Technology is developing rapidly everyday. With the wide cover of internet, Facebook, Twitter, Msn and Gmail jump into our life(好生动的用法!!), which provide people with great convenience in communication. We can chat with our friends face to face whenever we like and wherever we are. Plus, transportation is very accessible and affordable to (accessible跟to 但是affordable跟for 分开比较好)most people. (加点转折词 比如Take my experience as an example, 不然感觉略显突兀)After graduation, I got a job position in a big company in Beijing, whereas my best friend, Coco, stays in Shanghai in which my university is. In daily life, we often share our life and work on msn, and we fly to see each other in holiday. Consequently, we still have a very close relationship.


Furthermore, true friends can stand the trial of distance and time. A famous poetry of Tang dynasty said that a bosom friend afar brings a distant land near(直接唐诗了都....好高级!!). No matter how far away, a true friend can miss you and care about you forever. This is why friendship is great. A case in point is one of my childhood friends with whom I had lose contact for many years. Once I was going shopping, she recognized me and stopped me. Then we went to a Starbuck, she told me that she missed me so much and wanted to if I am fine(是想说[想知道我过的好不好]吗? 最好把if改成wether 书面语中if只当[如果]讲的). We never forgot each other even though we lost contact for many years. (例子稍稍感觉有点不合适 因为可能在有的人看来很多年不见就相当于loss了....一家之言哈)


Last but not the least(忘记在哪本书上 貌似是许轶的挑战TOEFL作文满分? 说这个词非常不正式 作文里慎用), with newly-gained different experience after separation, friends can have more interesting experience to share and more knowledge to learn from each other, and thus more interesting topics to talk about. Since I moved to Beijing, life is totally different with(from) that of Shanghai, such as the food, climate, dialect and culture. It is the diversity of our daily experience that gives me and my best friends more interesting subjects of a talk.(in a talk 或者 to talk吧?)强调句用得好


In the modern world, situation is changing almost every day. We cannot stop our steps to run after succeed(名词, success) and happy. Moving to another place is not equal to lose our friends. A friend to a person is what water to fish. A true friend will always support your decision and feel happy to(for) your happiness. The distance between your hearts will never be as far as the geographic distance.

hysx1988

TOP9:综合
Both the reading and the lecture explore the issue of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell. The writer insists that is a good replacement of internal-combustion engine. However, the speaker claims that it is not a solution to the problems associated with the problems of the internal-combustion engine.

It is mentioned in the reading that hydrogen needed for the fuel-cell engines can be got easily from various sources. The professor, on the contrary, holds the idea that the hydrogen derived from water or gas can not be used directly. They have to be in pure liquid condition. This pure liquid hydrogen is a highly artificial substance which is very difficult to produce and store. So this method is not practical.

The next point made by the reading is that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve many pollution problems. Again, the speaker claims that much energy can be used in the manufacture of pure liquid hydrogen. This energy comes form the burning of a lager amount of coal and oil which cause much pollution.

Ultimately, the author states that people can save money to use the a fuel-cell engine due to it is more efficient, Whereas the professor disapproves that point by explaining that manufacturing fuel-cell engine is very expensive because fuel-cell engines require components made of platinum, a very rare and expensive metal.

teresaz318

Both the reading and the lectureexplore the issue of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell. The writer insists that is agood replacement of internal-combustion engine. However, the speaker claimsthat it is not a solution to the problemsassociated with the problems of 过于啰嗦了你不觉得么？＝ ＝theinternal-combustion engine.

It is mentioned in the reading that hydrogen needed for the fuel-cell enginescan be got easily from various sources. The professor, on the contrary, holdsthe idea that the hydrogen derived from water or gas cannot 这词连着的cannot be used directly. They have tobe in pure liquid condition. This pure liquid hydrogen is a highly artificialsubstance which is very difficult to produce and store. So this method is not practical.

The next point made by the reading is that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solvemany pollution problems. Again, the speaker claims that much energy can be usedin the manufacture of pure liquid hydrogen. This energy comes form From the burning of a lagerlarge amount of coal and oil which cause much pollution.

Ultimately, the author states that people can save money to use the a fuel-cellengine due to it is more efficient, Whereas the professor disapproves thatpoint by explaining that manufacturing fuel-cell engine is very expensivebecause fuel-cell engines require components made of platinum, a very rare andexpensive metal.

不错啦！都是一些小问题～ 考试肯定ok  
smile !!

joan31217

MM你忘了帮我改6.1号的综合，有时间请帮我改下吧，谢谢~

hysx1988

sorry啊，这就帮你改~

hysx1988

8.15 独立
Have you ever accepted forgiveness from your parents after making a mistake? Have you ever learned an important principle from your own fault? Have you ever experienced success after many times of failure? There is no doubt that a multitude of people suggest that parents should protect their children from making mistakes, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that parents should allow their children to make mistakes, summarize reasons and learn from them.

To begin with, mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. When we are children, our parents are so patient and gentle to teach us every truth and principle. Making us to grow up smoothly and healthily are their targets. But sometimes only by feeling the results of mistakes can we know how correct our parents are. Take my brother as a example. Last year, he was so addicted in playing computer games that he even cut classes and told lies to teachers and parents. My mum was very angry and prohibited him from turning on the laptop. She soon found that all bans are useless. He persisted his own ways. Surprisingly, after accepting the awful scores of final exams and experiencing the alienation with his friends, he quitted computer games. Obviously, he realized that his behaviors were wrong. He told me that he learned that addiction to something excessively is wrong.

Furthermore, allowing children to make mistakes can help them develop “failure tolerance” by not over-reacting to their mistake. Nowadays, in china, most children as single child of their family are protected turgidly. They are very sensitive to failure and mistakes. Unfortunately, everyone has to become independent. One day, without protection of their families, they may be feared to face their mistakes. They may be scared and disappointed and even lose their courage. ‘Failure tolerance” is very important for a people to become successful. If Steven Jobs was passive and down when he was expelled from the “Apple” which is founded by him, there would be the wonderful and great creation-iphone.

Admittedly, mistakes can often harm a person’s confidence and make them afraid. They may lose courage to face new challenges. However, life is long, every people make mistake and face mistakes. That is inevitable. The most important point is how to overcome them.

To sum up, the mistakes are wonderful opportunities for children to learn. From that process, they can learn how to overcame themselves and become courageous. They can know what is accurate and how important correct behaviors are. All these things will be meaningful to their whole life.

winnie98

批改8.15 独立


Have you ever accepted forgiveness from your parents after making a mistake? Have you ever learned an important principle from your own fault? Have you ever experienced success after many times of failure? There is no doubt that a multitude of people suggest that parents should protect their children from making mistakes, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that parents should allow their children to make mistakes, summarize reasons and learn from them.

To begin with, mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. When we are children, our parents are so patient and gentle to teach us every truth and principle. Making us to grow up smoothly and healthily are(→is) their targets. But sometimes only by feeling the results of mistakes can we know how correct our parents are. Take my brother as a example. Last year, he was so addicted in playing computer games that he even cut classes and told lies to teachers and parents. My mum was very angry and prohibited him from turning on the laptop. She soon found that all bans are useless. He persisted his own ways. Surprisingly, after accepting the awful scores of final exams and experiencing the alienation with his friends, he quitted computer games. Obviously, he realized that his behaviors were wrong. He told me that he learned that addiction to something excessively is(→was) wrong.

Furthermore, allowing children to make mistakes can help them develop “failure tolerance” by(→for,我觉得应该是“为了”) not over-reacting to their mistake. Nowadays, in china, most children as a single child of their family are protected turgidly. They are very sensitive to failure and mistakes. Unfortunately, everyone has to become independent. One day, without protection of their families, they may be feared to face their mistakes. They may be scared and disappointed and even lose their courage. ‘Failure tolerance” is very important for a people to become successful. If Steven Jobs was(→were) passive and down when he was expelled from the “Apple” which is(→was) founded by him, there would not be the wonderful and great creation-iphone.(虚拟语气,如果SJ没有······,就不会有iphone)

Admittedly, mistakes can often harm a person’s confidence and make them afraid. They may lose courage to face new challenges. However, life is long, every people make mistake and face mistakes(平行结果的v.不平行). That is inevitable. The most important point is how to overcome them.

To sum up, the mistakes are wonderful opportunities for children to learn. From that process, they can learn how to overcome themselves and become courageous. They can know what is accurate(精准的,此处不恰当) and how important correct behaviors are. All these things will be meaningful to their whole life.


整体思路清晰明了,个别有语法错误。