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【写作小分队之jason制造】

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-4 21:50:33 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
3月4日 TPO18 综合写作(第二篇综合写作、、、、写的很水很短、、、)
In the lecture, the professor refutes the opinion that one or more ways mentioned in the passage can save the endangered Torreya. She states that none of the ways is a effective solution.



To begin with, the speaker indicates that the global warming lead to the climate change in the whole region of which the Torreya habitat forms a part. Thus, the place will no longer be suitable for the trees. This clearly contradicts the solution in the passage that the reestablishment of the Torreya can help the trees survive due to the beneficial microclimate of the region.


What is more, another statement of the speaker is that moving Torreys to the places further north than the original habitat will result in unpredictable results. In order to bolster her point, she also points out that one of kind of tree which once migrated to a new environment and killed the other trees and that the trees became endanger in the end. This undermined the second solution in the passage that the migration of the Torreya to the north, assisted by humans, will of great value.


Last but not least, the passage also suggests another way to help Torreya thrive that maintain these trees in the research center and protect them by the scientists. However, the lecture attacks this opinion claiming that a perfect habitat for trees should be covered with a large number of trees of great diversity. The professor implies that obviously the environment in the research center doesn't meet this condition of effective protection of Torreya and should not be chosen as the habitat of Torreya.


In retrospective, the points made by the speaker in the lecture contradict with what is represented in the passage. The speaker holds that none of the three solutions is a available way to address the problem of endangered Torreya.
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-6 20:54:25 | 只看该作者
In the lecture, the professor refutes the opinion that one or more(没必要加吧) ways mentioned in the passage can save the endangered Torreya. She states that none of the ways is a effective solution.


To begin with, the speaker indicates that the global warming lead to the climate change in the whole region of which the Torreya habitat forms a part(这句是啥意思,没看懂。。). Thus, the place will no longer be suitable for the trees. This clearly contradicts the solution in the passage that the reestablishment of the Torreya can help the trees survive due to the beneficial microclimate of the region.


What is more, another statement of the speaker is that moving Torreys to the places further north than the original habitat will result in unpredictable results. In order to bolster her point, she also points out that one of kind of tree which once migrated to a new environment and killed the other trees and that the trees became endanger in the end. This undermined(查下字典,这个词不合适) the second solution in the passage that the migration of the Torreya to the north, assisted by humans, will of great value.


Last but not least, the passage also suggests another way to help Torreya thrive that maintain these trees in the research center and protect them by the scientists. However, the lecture attacks this opinion claiming that a perfect habitat for trees should be covered with a large number of trees of great diversity. The professor implies that obviously the environment in the research center doesn't meet this condition of effective protection of Torreya and should not be chosen as the habitat of Torreya.(有个一抗疾病没提)


In retrospective(这是啥意思?查字典没发现这种用法,问度娘谷歌也没找着。。), the points made by the speaker in the lecture contradict with what is represented in the passage. The speaker holds that none of the three solutions is a available way to address the problem of endangered Torreya.

总体还行吧,如果不久就考试的话,就尽量减少小错误,词尾加s之类的问题,如果时间充裕,研究下tpo的文章,两三篇就够了,熟记它的句式和连接词,之后看所谓之范文就会感觉那些都弱爆了。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-7 16:22:48 | 只看该作者
谢谢!那个of which 、、、part是原文的、、、、那个in retrospective 是GRE时学到的,可能不规范,以后不用了!
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-7 18:11:42 | 只看该作者

TPO21 综合写作 genetic modified trees

17分钟 263字 求狠拍
In this lecture, the speaker refutes the point made in the passage that genetic modified trees are of great benefits. In fact, as the professor argues, the genetic modification trees have several disadvantages.



To begin with, the speaker states that, even though the genetic modified trees are designed to resist some certain kinds of natural challenges, they are not resistant to all problems including the climate changes. If they face the climate change, they are more likely to die out than the natural trees among which some individuals are able to weather the climate changes. This obviously contradicts the statement of the passage that the genetic modified trees are more likely to survive than the unmodified ones.


In addition of the ability to survive, the speaker also cast doubts on the economic advantages of genetic modified trees. She claims that the genetic trees produced by companies are more expensive than the unmodified ones and that the buyers have to continue purchasing the modified trees. This point of view rebuts the statement in the passage that the genetic modified trees allow the farmers to gain more benefits.


Last but not least, the environment value of the genetic modified trees is also attacked by the speaker. In the passage, with fast growth and high resistance, the genetic modified trees can meet the demand for wood. However, the professor indicates that the genetic modified trees actually compromise the natural trees because the modified ones will become aggressive and use out the resources of a region. As a result, being less competitive, the original trees will probably die out.
5#
发表于 2012-3-8 13:33:41 | 只看该作者
红色 表示 可能有问题  以及我的观点
蓝色 表示 很华丽
绿色表示 观后感

In this lecture,
the speaker refutes the point made in the passage that genetic modified trees are of great benefits. In fact, as the professor argues, the genetic modification trees have several disadvantages.

To begin with, the speaker states that, even though the genetic modified trees are designed to resist some certain kinds of natural challenges, they are not resistant to all problems including the climate changes. If they face the climate change, they are more likely to die out than the natural trees among which some individuals are able to weather the climate changes.This obviously contradicts the statement of the passage that the genetic modified trees are more likely to survive than the unmodified ones.

In addition of the ability to survive, the speaker also cast doubts on the economic advantages of genetic modified trees. She claims that the genetic trees produced by companies are more expensive than the unmodified ones and that the buyers have to continue purchasing the modified trees. This point of view rebuts the statement in the passage that the genetic modified trees allow the farmers to gain more benefits. (二段里面 lecturer 讲了两个小分论点,你仔细听下,貌似一是 种子贵,二是根据法律要持续缴费! )

Last but not least, the environment value (名词名词除非特有名词,一般还是adj 修饰n比较好environmental)of the genetic modified trees is also attacked by the speaker. In the passage, with fast growth and high resistance, the genetic modified trees can meet the demand for wood. However, the professor indicates that the genetic modified trees actually compromise the natural trees because the modified ones will become aggressive and use out the resources of a region. As a result, being less competitive, the original trees will probably die out.

整体很流畅,语言功底很赞, 基本没有什么问题!
我标蓝色的都是非常不错的
各式各样的  表达方式,如果你是现场发挥出来的话,你就是太牛了。。。。。。
我是模板党~~~呵呵

唯一可能需要注意的就是 最好能把听力 里面的point 全都记下来,我感觉考官会按点给分的  
模板华丽最多也只能是保健因素了~~~~in sum  祝顺利搞定T

6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-8 19:32:10 | 只看该作者
太感谢你了!

改得很认真的!的确seed那我听的不是很清楚、、、、、、

不过我的确是临场发挥的,呵呵;weather应该是没问题的——weather除了天气之外,还有个意义是“经受得住”,比如花weather干旱。
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-8 22:29:22 | 只看该作者

[0308] 独立写作 朋友还是老师更有影响力

第三篇独立、、、、、、还有9天考试,淡定、、、、、
Few can deny the fact that the students are easily influenced by  others. Some people might argue that they are more influenced by the teachers, whereas others think that friends have more nfluence on them. As far as I am concerned, to the students, their friends are more influential than the teachers.
Admittedly, the teachers have certain effects on students. What they teach in class is actually the instruction of the students' behaviors. Moreover, it is of great possibility that a responsible teacher will ask a student to the office and educate them directly. Nonetheless, even though the teachers are influential, the students' friends obviously play a more important role in the formation of the students' behaviors. The first reason for my argument is that the time, which students spend with their friends, is far more than that with their teachers. In the most cases, a teacher can only speak to  students in class and in a few conversations in their offices, while a student' classmates, who are also friends, can stay with him(her) in and out of the classroom. It is quite normal that good friends spend their spare time together. For example, they can watch movies or play sports on weekends. Thus, the friends have more time to  influence each other.
In addition to the longer time of the company of the friends than that of the teachers, it is much more easier for the students to communicate with their firends. For instance, some of my classmates, who is quite active and outgoing among friends, becomes nervous and stammered in front of our head teacher, an old strict man. In a more comfortable and easy atmosphere, the friends can influence each others more easily. What is more, the peers know each others so well that what they advise others to do is more effective and more likely to be understood than what the teachers do.

Last but not least, besides the longer company as well as easier communication and understanding, one of the youths' characteristics make friends more influential, namely they are prone to imitate their friends. Many of my friends will not necessarily do as my teacher says in that they think what the teacher tells is not always right. However, they usually imitate their friends' behaviors. They listen to the music what their friends favor, eat what the friends recommend and play activities which fascinate the group of friends. Why does it happen? Because the students will think themselves fall behind ohers and even left alone by friends if they fail to catch up with the fashion among the friends.
To sum up, though the effect of the teachers does exist, the influence of friends overwhelms that of teachers. The students are much more influenced by the friends than the teachers.
8#
发表于 2012-3-8 23:39:05 | 只看该作者
==学过gre 的果然厉害
9#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-9 22:08:41 | 只看该作者
3月9日 TPO23 综合写作
字数:
289用时:00:20:00日期:2012-3-9 22:06:35



In the lecture, the speaker refutes the opinion in the passage that three factors might be responsible for the decline of yellow cedar. He states that none of the three is likely to be the very reason.


To begin with, the speaker asserts that the barks and leaves of healthy yellow cedar trees contain a certain kind of chemical which can kill the cedar bark beetles. Only the already damaged or weak ones can be affected by these parasites. Thus, the beetles should not be regarded as the cause of the decline of the trees. This obviously contradicts what is suggested in the passage that the attacks of the beetles should be blamed.


What is more, besides of the parasites, the second hypothesis in the passage that the bears eating the barks of the trees lead to the decline of the trees is also attacked by the speaker. He argues that both of the mainland and the island, the places with and without the bears, are facing the problem of the decline of the trees. With this substantiated evidence, the bears can't account for the damage of the trees.


Last but not least, the speaker also casts doubt on the third hypothesis that the decline of the yellow cedar is the result of the climate change, namely the cold weather damages the sensitive root and causes the death of the whole tree. If that is true, the speaker says, the decline will be more serious in the relatively colder places than that in the warmer places. However, the lecture clarifies the fact that the yellow cedar trees of the warmer places actually suffer from more severe damage, which undermines the hypothesis of the passage.
10#
发表于 2012-3-10 19:45:31 | 只看该作者
老规矩~红色错误,蓝色疑惑建议,高亮精彩~!
Few can deny the fact that the students are easily influenced by others. Some people might argue that they are more influenced by the teachers, whereas others think that friends have more influence on them. As far as I am concerned, to the students, their friends are more influential than the teachers.


Admittedly, the teachers have certain effects on students. What they teach in class is actually the instruction of the students' behaviors. Moreover, it is of great possibility that a responsible teacher will ask a student to the office and educate them directly. Nonetheless, even though the teachers are influential, the students' friends obviously play a more important role in the formation of the students' behaviors. The first reason for my argument is that the time, which students spend with their friends, is far more than that with their teachers. In the most cases, a teacher can only speak to  students in class and in a few conversations in their offices, while a student' classmates, who are also friends, can stay with him(her) in and out of the classroom. It is quite normal that good friends spend their spare time together. For example, they can watch movies or play sports on weekends. Thus, the friends have more time to  influence each other.(论证有点小多,希望Jason的例子能具体一点点哦~


In addition to the longer time of the company of the friends than that of the teachers, it is much more easier for the students to communicate with their firends.friends For instance, some of my classmates, who isare quite active and outgoing among friends, becomes nervous and stammered in front of our head teacher, an old strict man. In a more comfortable and easy atmosphere, the friends can influence each others more easily. What is more, the peers know each others so well that what they advise others to do is more effective and more likely to be understood than what the teachers do.

Last but not least, besides the longer company as well as easier communication and understanding, one of the youths' characteristics makes friends more influential, namely they are prone to imitate their friends. Many of my friends will not necessarily do as my teacher says in that they think what the teacher tells is not always right. However, they usually imitate their friends' behaviors. They listen to the music what their friends favor, eat what the friends recommend and play activities which fascinate the group of friends. Why does it happen? Because the students will think themselves fall behind others and even left alone by friends if they fail to catch up with the fashion among the friends.


To sum up, though the effect of the teachers does exist, the influence of friends overwhelms that of teachers. The students are much more influenced by the friends than the teachers.



没挑出神马错误来呢、就是一点点小细节,拼写冠词单复数啊稍微注意下就好了!很喜欢Jason用的衔接词,感觉变化很多样很流畅~!不过感觉举例方面需要再加强一点点哦~加油呢~~
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