【写作小分队】Byron来了！

Crystaljoy

第二是有否必要最后来一个to sum up，楼主可以斟酌下，因为ets的范文和无老师的满分写作范文都没有最后一段。另外，不知码这三百多字有没有超时，综合写到点子上，连接词和句式有所变化，二百来字就行了（这个是个人观点，综合写作要求是150-225，一般的范文也是220+—）。

第一次改综合，肯定很多不足，咱们共同探讨啊~
-- by 会员 byron777 (2012/2/28 22:27:35)

Byron, 我看的群分享的TPO综合高分文章，有的有结论的。时间允许，觉得写一个结论更加全面呢。
我考试时候综合写了280+ 包括结论，剩5分钟检查，其实我打字不快至今还没有练到盲打英文呢= = 。
最后总体作文得28分，看坛子里面有满分大牛综合都写350+。我猜测字数越多越好因为ETS喜欢细节，并且听力的细节最好多写。
-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/2/29 22:04:23)

byron777

3月3日 tpo18 综合

这个是掐时间写的，最后确是没时间码字了，打字功底尚欠，多练多练~！！

A kind of evergreen tree named Torreya taxifoha once prevalent in the state of Florida is dying out, experts are figuring out ways to cease the decline. The reading provides three ways to protect this tree, while the professor doubts the methods and gives her reasons.

      The first method, as the reading mentions, is to plant Torreya in the same place, considering the original place has a specific microclimate which is favorable to Torreya's growth. But the professor indicates because of the global warming, the weather condition was affected in large scale, making the original location warmer and drier, thus the former condition suitable for the Torreya does not exist any more.

       The second option is to move Torreya to an entirely different area. Instead of expecting the flourish of the Torreya, the professor is more concerning about the impact to the loacl plants. She mentions the case of transplanting a tree to a new environment, in which the new tree spread so fast that ruined the other plants.

      The third way in the reading is to resort to  research centers. The reading is quite confident to forecast that with wild and closely monitored environment the tree will be protect well. Unfortunately, the professor refutes is as a proper way, criticising that in the research centers the quantity of Torreya will be considerably reduced. Holding a relatively small amount, Torreya may lose the ability to resist disease in long run.

byron777

或许我那个25就是字数不够多么！！多谢提醒啊，324的时候尝试一下。

byron777

3月3日 独立写作 我晕最后还是超时了，糟糕的打字速度啊~！

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

My generation is brought up in the world filled with movies and television programs, thereby the way we think we behavior we talk are greatly influenced by them. When we are asked to judge whether their positive effects overweight their negative, it's really hard to answer, for ourselves are part of the movies and television, how can you let one to judge itself? Maybe good maybe bad, only time will tell, but from my temporary thought, they have more positive impact on our daily lives.
     
   Despite spending all day long in front of the television gaining more and more weight eventually lack of the basic sport ability, people can benefit from television in too many aspects. Television, in my opinion, is the window of the world, both the reality and the imagination. You can appreicate the elegant of the Eiffel Tower, detect the mystory of the Pyramid, experience the exotic lifestyle of the local people in chain islands in the Pacific Ocean- each of these you may never know for your hole life without the television. Relizing the magic of the nature, knowing how big and amazing the world is, people will in a high mood, experice the greatest pleasure they've never had. Is't that enough to overweight it's little flaw to cause fat? Comparing with its spectacular function, fat is too weak to be a reason.
   
   Like telecision, movises also have tremendous positive impact more than you can imagine. We are inspired by science fiction movies. And stimulated by these movies,some of us even decide to devote their rest lives to the science, which in the past is considered boring and children always had little interest in it. Besides, movies are shapping our spirit. A great movie not only satisfy us for entertainment, but also lead us to a higher spiritual level. They make us think about the society, the human nature and the ultimate goal of an individual life. It is a kind of art, how can we deny the power of a real art?

  In the end, from the analysing above, I again conform my belief. Movies and television are not just having more positive effects on people's lives, they are priceless treasures of the human beings. Finally I realise that the more you evaluate them, the more worth you find in them.

晨依Jacqueline

先抢个地方，明天白天一天的课，晚上给byron修改~~
My generation is brought up in the world filled with(充满了不大好啊，用包围着吧~surrounded by) movies and television programs, thereby the way we think(,) we behavior(behave,) we talk are greatly influenced by them. When we are asked to judge whether their positive effects overweight their negative(or not), it's really hard to answer, for ourselves(we) are part of the movies and television(?), how can you(ourselves、you、itself...有点小混乱啊) let one to judge itself? Maybe good maybe bad(是不是有点口语了), only time will tell, but from my temporary thought, they have more positive impact on our daily lives.

  Despiteof spending all day long in front of the television gaining more and more weight eventually lack of the basic sport ability, people can benefit from television in too many aspects. Television, in my opinion, is the window of the world, both (both for?) the reality and the imagination. You can appreicate(appreciate) the elegant of the Eiffel Tower, detect the mystory(mystery)of the Pyramid, experience the exotic lifestyle of the local people in chain islands(???) in the Pacific Ocean- each of these you may never know for your hole life without the television. Relizing(Realizing)the magic of the nature, knowing how big and amazing the world is, people will bein a high mood, experice(experience) the greatest pleasure they've never had. Is't(Isn't) that enough to overweight it's little flaw to cause fat(obesity比较好一点)? Comparing(ed) with its spectacular function, beingfat is too weak to be a reason.

  Like telecision, movises(wrong spelling!!!) also have tremendous positive impact more than you(最好不要突然用you，我原来也经常写you，但是xdf的老师说不好。注意下吧还是~) can imagine. We are inspired by science fiction movies. And stimulated by these movies,some of us even decide to devote their(our)rest lives(remaining years吧~) to the science(science research), which in the past is(was) considered boring and children always had little interest in it. Besides, movies are shapping(shaping?)our spirits. A great movie not only satisfy(satisfies) us for(on) entertainment, but also leads us to a higher spiritual level. They make us think about the society, the human nature and the ultimate goal of an individual life.(个人感觉三个不是很并列啊)It is a kind of art, how can we deny the power of a real art?(这是两句话啊~！)

 In the end, from the analysing(analysis) above, I again conform(confirm?) my belief. Movies and television are not just having more positive effects on people's lives, they are priceless treasures of the human beings. Finally I realise(realize)that the more you evaluate them(这里还是建议写movies&TV啊~), the more worth you (will)find in them.

Byron的作文语言很流畅，意思也表达的很清晰。我觉得吧有些表达还需要再积累，然后论证段的例子最好能详细一点~注意下拼写哦！其他都很好了，有前途的少年，加油哈~

jiaosisisisi

我来了。 待会给你修改额 ~~~

jiaosisisisi

不过我记得3月3日 的 综合是 TPO17 吧，。。。
18 我还没，写呢。。。。。

byron777

3月3日的综合，久等了
tpo17

The reading is concerning about the growth of the human popluation and the agriculture incrsasing's impact on the number of the birds, saying that birds will be fewer and fewer in the following years. While in the contrary, the professor casts doubt on this perspective and gives her own opinions.
     First, the professor refutes the idea that the human populations and settlements' expansion will cause the decline of the birds number. She admits, though, that some tpyes of birds will decrease in number, she also indicates that the new envrionment of human settlements actually provide more space and habitats for many other birds. These new areas make it possible for many birds to inhabit and reproduce, finally increase the total number of the birds.
     Second, unlike the reading expects that the agricultural activities must increast the destruction of bird habitats as a result of corresponding the growth of the human population, the professor says thanks to the technology development, scientists have alreadly cultivated the high productive crops that not only will produce more crops in the certain area but also be more nutrient than normal crops, thus no more agriculture land will be developed and the birds habitats will be perserved well.
     Third, the reading is quite worried about the chemical pesticides used in agriculture will lagrely affect the bird population by either killing them outrightly or disturting their reproducing process. However, the professor holds a positive idea. She thinks the genetical pest resist new types of crops and more evnironmental and efficent pesticide will avoid this consequence. Like her optimistic expectation about the crops' productivity, she also believe the technology advancement will perfectly solve this anxiety.

byron777

那个发现漏洞百出啊，尤其是拼写，一定要克服。。。多谢修改，收获很大。
感觉还有好多好多地方可以提升啊~
多谢了

那个，关于despite，有那个用法的。。
despite  
/ d??spa?t; d?ˋspa?t/ prep without being affected by (the factors mentioned) 尽管; 不管; 不顾: They had a wonderful holiday, despite the bad weather. 尽管天气不好, 他们的假日还是过得极为愉快. * Despite wanting to see him again, she refused to reply to his letters. 她尽管很想再见到他, 但却不愿给他回信. * Despite what others say, I think he's a very nice chap. 不管别人怎麽说, 我仍认为他这个人很好. Cf 参看 in spite of (spite).

jasonliu119

楼主写的很好啊！句式什么的超丰富的！以我的水平只能吹毛求疵般提点小建议了！


A kind of evergreen tree named Torreya taxifoha once prevalent in the state of Florida is dying out, experts are figuring out ways to cease the decline. The reading provides three ways to protect this tree（复数？）, while the professor doubts the methods and gives her reasons.

     The first method, as the reading mentions, is to plant Torreya in the same place, considering the original place has a specific microclimate which is favorable to Torreya's growth. But the professor indicates because of the global warming, the weather condition was affected in large scale, making the original location warmer and drier, thus the former condition suitable for the Torreya does not exist any more.

      The second option is to move Torreya to an entirely different area. Instead of expecting the flourish of the Torreya, the professor is more concerning about the impact to the loacl plants. She mentions the case of transplanting a tree to a new environment, in which the new tree spread so fast that ruined the other plants.

     The third way in the reading is to resort to  research centers. The reading is quite confident to forecast that with wild and closely monitored environment the tree will be protect well. Unfortunately, the professor refutes is as a proper way, criticising that in the research centers the quantity of Torreya will be considerably reduced. Holding a relatively small amount, Torreya may lose the ability to resist disease in long run. (我听的时候还听到有一个diversity？物种多样性？不知道是我幻听没、、、找找听力文本看看)