PS 到底怎么写 4 - negative experiences

tinaxueMIT

Just wanted to start by saying....
1) I am very busy, however, I spend about 30 minutes a day posting these blogs to help.
 2) I offer individual essay  and PS writing and edits, and I provide a guarantee where I will work with you UNTIL you are HAPPY with the document - unlimited revisions. This is to help you guys feel more comfortable about choosing to work with me.
3) I will try my best to address all inquiries and offer consultations for INTERESTED customers as soon as possible.


Okay so moving into the topic for today. A lot of you guys have had negative experiences or failures at work or in school. This may cause you guys to want to explain the situation. Some schools even specifically ask for you to describe a failure....so how do we address this.

In a previous post I wrote...NEVER WRITE ANYTHING NEGATIVE. I still stand by this statement. But more importantly...DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR FLAWS.

1) Bad experience with a company
So, for example...lets say you had a very bad experience. It was not your fault. But for some reason you left the company. You want to explain the situation. Especially if there is a gap in your employment period..you definitely should address the situation.
The conventional way to address the situation:

My boss was unreasonable in his requests, causing me to leave the company.

The company did not understand the full situation, leading me to pursue a different career objective.

I was bored by my job. It was so routine.

DON'T DO THIS.

Why
By wording the situation this way, you are saying...it was not my fault. It was their fault. They were terrible. You were basically pointing a finger and trying to attribute all the problems to them and how they didn't understand you. This will make adcom members feel that you are disrespectful, ungrateful, difficult to work with, conceited, irresponsible and immature. The reason is...right away the adcom member will think...it takes 2 parties to have a bad relationship. One person alone cannot do this...so regardless...you are at fault. By pointing this out...you are also emphasizing your own flaws.

Instead try to word it as...

While working for xxx, I realized that my dreams and goals were pushing me in XXX direction. Therefore, after a conversation with my manager, we decided that it would be best for me to devote myself toward my goals in pursuit of the future that I really want.  - this is just a spontaneous example I made up.

2) Sometimes you notice negatives about the company that you want to address. I actually received this as an email question from a CDer so I will just post it...

Q) What if I mentioned in my essay one of the serious defeat of the Big
Four's advisory services -- Their work is too streamlined and their
staffs know little about client's industry.

(I was an summer intern there) And this point is actually quite
important to support my career goal: open an consulting firm and
provide professional service of superior quality.
 
A) Instead of saying...While working for XXX company, I realized that their advisory services were XXX and their work is too streamlined and their staff members are ignorant...

        
you can say

        

from my experience in industry, I have noticed several areas that have  potential

for improvement. For example, if staff members and customer service had a better

understanding of the real-world business demands of different industries, they would be able to address client concerns more effectively. Likewise, if business operations were less streamlined (i'm not a business major so I don't really understand what you mean by streamlined), the businesses could potentially attract a wider customer base....

        

To support your goal you can say...

I feel that my creativity, innovation and ability to see potential positive changes in corporate operations will help me realize my goal of founding a management consulting company.....

        

Do you see how by saying it this way...

1) you are not pointing fingers at any specific company, showing that you have

courtesy and respect.

2) you are not saying anything negative

3) you are emphasizing your observation skills, creativity...and the positive possibilities.

4) you are not emphasizing the positive by making someone else look negative...this is very important. You are simply talking about what could be changed and what the impacts would be.

5) lots of professors do consulting...what if the adcom member reading your essay is a consultant for that company? ...they would not like you very much.


3) Failures - just because the essay question asks you about a failure...does not mean you go into detail about how you failed. You do not need to give a step by step account of what happened. Give a quick and brief summary in the beginning. Then focus the rest of the essay on what you learned from the experience, how you have overcome it, how it has made you a smarter, stronger, better person...and possibly provide another example showing how you have learned from the mistake. Always end the essay with the positive...because then, when the adcom member finishes your essay, hopefully what sticks out in his/her mind is how you are able to learn from your mistakes...and that you are a stronger and better person.

Okay...as always... if you have any questions and are interested in finding out more about what I can provide in terms of services...you can email me at tinaxue@mit.edu. I will address the inquiries and I can offer a consultation and comments for INTERESTED customers....if you just have a quick question about writing..please post below and I will address it. If you have a general big question...send me a message via CD and I will address it in the next blog.

 

mhe2

great! thank you for your advice~

tinaxueMIT

no problem

miachi871012

先留名

samansa507

great~~

wyz987654321

thanks

独孤吟

thanks！！ mark~

yueyaer246

thanks

isabeggar

excellent！

wyhvicky

报名一个potential customer 现在最求选校service 楼主能给建议么。。